After my last post I thought, This is crazy. Dammit, I am going to stop being so hard on myself. Unlike some women who got the message growing up that they were never good enough, I was lucky to be raised by a mother who, from Day One and to this day, tells me I am soooo smart, and soooo beautiful... and both of my ex-husbands constantly validated my looks--"You were the prettiest girl at the party," each one has said--and the truth is, I'm a freakin' man magnet, even at this age and with all my perceived imperfections, but beyond that, I don't need to be validated by anyone else anyway, right?
So fuck the media, I decided. I blame them and I'm not going to buy into their bullshit that everyone has to be a size zero with perfect hair and perfect facial features. Yes, fuck them, I said! I decided my New Year's resolution will be to shed all those false beliefs and even be a role model to other women who struggle with a poor self-image inflicted at their own hands. Yeah, that's what I told myself.
Then I opened a DVD a friend sent me of my last stand-up performace, and three seconds into it, I gasped, "OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SO GODDAMN FAT!"
Two steps forward, three steps back...
P.S. Yes, it really did snow in Las Vegas! This is how it looks this morning, taken from my apartment's balcony. I talked about the storm on my Internet radio show, Aging Nymphs, last night. Click the link to listen to the archive!