Thursday, December 18, 2008

Still a work in progress

After my last post I thought, This is crazy. Dammit, I am going to stop being so hard on myself. Unlike some women who got the message growing up that they were never good enough, I was lucky to be raised by a mother who, from Day One and to this day, tells me I am soooo smart, and soooo beautiful... and both of my ex-husbands constantly validated my looks--"You were the prettiest girl at the party," each one has said--and the truth is, I'm a freakin' man magnet, even at this age and with all my perceived imperfections, but beyond that, I don't need to be validated by anyone else anyway, right?

So fuck the media, I decided. I blame them and I'm not going to buy into their bullshit that everyone has to be a size zero with perfect hair and perfect facial features. Yes, fuck them, I said! I decided my New Year's resolution will be to shed all those false beliefs and even be a role model to other women who struggle with a poor self-image inflicted at their own hands. Yeah, that's what I told myself.

Then I opened a DVD a friend sent me of my last stand-up performace, and three seconds into it, I gasped, "OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SO GODDAMN FAT!"

Two steps forward, three steps back...

P.S. Yes, it really did snow in Las Vegas! This is how it looks this morning, taken from my apartment's balcony. I talked about the storm on my Internet radio show, Aging Nymphs, last night. Click the link to listen to the archive!


9 comments:

Julie said...

I was going to ask about the snow! How funny is that to see in Vegas???

travel girl said...

I work in Apple Valley and it snowed all day yesterday.

I'm stuck today but it sure is breath taking!

Hurricane Mikey said...

Man magnet?

Well, I'm a chick magnet, so I feel your pain.

Oh, and we should probably never be in the same room together. Unless somebody brings a crowbar.

I'm just sayin'.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Ha! Sucks to be us, huh?

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

But - you're NOT fat. I AM fat so I would know. Us truly fat chicks get irritated when you not really fat chicks think your fat. But I can't really be irritated with you because I know how it is, I've also been thin and thought I was fat. It is the media's fault!

That is some SNOW!

CarmenSinCity said...

I love your snowy pictures!! You know what? I feel like you know me like a book. Deep down I know that I'm not feeling him. You are so right, but I can't help it. I just want to have fun and he provides the fun. We seriously need to hang out. I think we would have a really good time together. Think about it sweetie.

CarmenSinCity said...

You do stand up? Really???? I didn't know that!! Very cool. I would love to come see you perform.

Tasha said...

I'm with you- fuck em! (but, boy, can I relate) I cant stop picking myself apart. And then I have to take a step back and...breathe. You're gorgeous and skinny and hella charming. What else does a person need!? ;)

Beautiful snow shots! It didn't even stick over here in NLV. I'm kinda bummed about it.

Eric said...

Very honest stuff, Linda. And very funny in a spot on way. Women are overly hard on themselves, but I'm glad Vegas guys aren't ignoring you. The neo-conservative media has many agendas, but why they want to diss aging nymphs I don't know!

Cheers!