Tuesday, March 17, 2009

If you could change anything about yourself...

One of the last times I was back in Albany, my sister Lori and I went out for a few beers with our childhood friend Chuckie Bell. At one point he asked, “If you could change something about yourself—anything at all—what would it be?"

That was a no-brainer. “MY HAIR!” I exclaimed.

I have fine, thin, limp, crappy hair that flattens to my head about 30 seconds after I turn off the blow dryer. The actress Molly Shannon, star of my guilty pleasure Kath and Kim, once said, “I was born with three hairs on my head and I’ve spent my entire life trying to make them look like five.” I can so relate! Believe me, I thank God every day for a pretty face and a hot body, but at this age it’s about five minutes to midnight as far as they go, if you know what I mean. Pretty soon I’ll be SOL.

Lori went next and said something like, “I wish I could be more tolerant of other people.” Chuck’s answer was equally annoying.

Jesus, I thought. How freakin’ superficial am I? Yup, other than my hair, I pretty much have it all together. Sure, I’m the center of my own universe, I have absolutely no patience, I’m quick to judge, and when people don’t see things my way, I secretly think they’re mildly retarded. And I wish I could change… my hair? What an a-hole.

What about you? If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? And be honest—give us your knee-jerk reaction; don’t go thinkin’ up some goody-goody Pollyanna response unless that’s really what comes to you. Though in that case, you're much too nice to be reading this blog.

Oops! I almost forgot...

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!! Lori sent me this pic of herself and her husband, Russ, taken at the parade in Albany last Saturday. Don't they look like fun?

14 comments:

KriMonster said...

I wouldn't change ONE SINGLE thing! Afterall, I'm perfect!

Does this make me Queen a-hole?

Jazzy Cazy said...

I would change my skin, I've suffered with acne for 10 years now and was told it'd be gone by now. It's a lot less I have to say but it'd be great if it wasn't there at all!

Julie said...

See, THIS is why I love you. I'm every bit as superficial as you are. LOL. I had several immediate thoughts and they all centered around the physical...my boobs, my ass, my legs, the cellulite, the back fat, the bat wings, the bags under my eyes...you name it.

I'm *that* self centered. Welcome to my world. LOL

Hurricane Mikey said...

Hair?

Oh geez. If I only had any to dislike!

DebraLSchubert said...

I'd change my bank account balance. I'd add a few more zeros at the end of the number. That's not superficial, is it?

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Well, I can't pick just one so I am not going to play this game... *giggles

*takes her jacks and goes home*

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

http://dandybasket.blogspot.com/

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

I'll trade you my thick, healthy luxurious locks for your hot bod....

Linda and her Twaddle said...

To be more naturally self disciplined. Note the word "naturally". It is such an effort to be self disciplined.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

@ Debra (doctor's wife): I rest my case--ha!

@ Barbara: I wonder if we can find some middle ground... I've always said I'd take two inches off my tits and paste them on my thighs in exchange for thicker hair. (Thicker hair on my head--not my upper lip or anything.) (Can't be too specific, you know.)

veryjosie said...

My height!!! Being 5' 1" sux....ah to be 5'10" That was my first reaction. My second one would be toned arms. A girl can dream, can't she?

travel girl said...

God, I have to pick one??

I'm VERY superficial because my first thought was my hair as well.

Then my boobs. I wish they were bigger!!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

@ Travel Girl: Not to worry--I get the impression guys really don't care that much about big boobs. As long as they have a little something to play with, they're happy. Plus, with the Victoria's Secret bra technology these days, anyone can have a nice rack. I'm living proof; "Objects are much smaller than they appear."

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

This is an awesome blog you have going here and I hope that you dont' mind if I follow??
If you have a moment or two of your life that you'd care to waste, please visit me at my blog and say hello.
Okay.... I'd totally have bigger tata's. I'm getting older and so are the girls......
Take good care and.....

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Laisa said...

My great big fat ASS! My kids love to tease me and tell me that my butt is bigger than a hippo's. Nice, huh?