First, 10 years ago today my father died of a massive heart attack while on vacation in Florida with his girlfriend, Pat. It was about 6 a.m. on a Friday morning when my sister Lori phoned to tell me the news. I remember the call like it was yesterday—I was in a hotel room in Shelton, Connecticut, where I’d been working for GE. Lori relayed the details as she knew them and told me that Pat had signed off to have his corneas donated.
After I got off the phone, I mechanically packed up my things, going through the motions as one does when they’re in that type of surreal state. I then went down to the hotel lobby to check out, and you’ll never believe what song was playing on the radio as I stood at the front desk.
It was Eric Clapton’s “Looking Through My Father’s Eyes.”
Is that freaky or what?
Next, I want to share a beauty tip. Totally unrelated—I told you. You know what I’ve been using on my skin lately and I swear to God it’s noticeably softer? Good old fashioned Gold Bond Lotion. I mix it with Bath & Body Works Warm Vanilla Sugar (cream or lotion) because I like the scent, but it’s the Gold Bond that’s keeping my skin soft. And—I don’t know if this is related—the eczema breakouts I used to have stopped since I’ve been using it.
I know—we should be sharing beauty tips more often. (I can see Hurricane Mikey rolling his eyes now.)
Here’s the last thing I want to tell you…
My ex is on the friggin’ warpath because he caught wind that my book is getting closer to becoming a reality. He shot me several nasty emails yesterday, each with liberal use of the C word. He thinks I’m out to “fuck up his entire life” and I’ll be ruining his chances of ever finding a girlfriend.
Certainly, I’d have been spared untold headaches and heartaches had an ex-girlfriend written this book before I got to him. And note to anyone (male or female) who gets stinkin' drunk and obnoxious and pours water on their spouse at 3 a.m. while they sleep: Don’t think your actions will always stay a dirty little secret.
Or… should they stay a secret? Should I reconsider this project? Tell me what you think. I assure you, ruining his life was never my intention. I never mention his name in the book, and I’m going to make some changes that will obscure his identity a bit, but I realize it wouldn’t take a genius to piece things together.
So what is my intention? By sharing my experiences in this book, I know I will help other women gain perspective into their own lives. That’s my intention. And aside from that, the book is really funny; my goal is to entertain and inspire. Am I looking to cash in from all this? Hardly. Though if the book takes off, that would be a sign that there’s a need in the marketplace.
I really am sorry about this, on so many levels. I wish none of that bullshit ever happened. The most damning thing I say about him in the book was in the excerpt I posted last Saturday. BTW, I wrote this in response to a comment someone made about the Bastard Husband: A Love Story title. In case you haven’t seen it:
I can't tell you how many times I've reconsidered that title, and for two reasons: 1) the book is more about my post-divorce journey than it actually is about my ex (though certainly reflections on that relationship are threaded throughout) and 2) the title, as you've say, implies bitterness. That said, I've decided to stay with it for one huge reason: the title gets attention. People remember it. It came to me one morning in the pool area of the Ramada Inn in St. George, Utah, where I'd spent the previous night due to an episode like the one in the excerpt from last Saturday. I sat in a lounge chair thinking, "What a bastard, but I love him." That's when I thought I had the makings of a book.Hmm…. Lots of stuff here. Tell me what’s on your mind. Was the Clapton song a message from beyond or just a crazy coincidence? What's your beauty secret? And if you were me, what would you do about the ex?
Let me know!