Tuesday, October 20, 2009

If I was normal, I bet I wouldn't be so neurotic

Hey, Saturday afternoon I was getting off the 215 at the Green Valley Ranch exit and I pulled up at the red light right next to a good looking guy about my age in a black Mercedes convertible. So I give him a side glance and flirty smile and then realize, LINDA, YOU'RE SITTING IN A 14-YEAR-OLD SATURN WITH A DENT IN THE ROOF.

Sometimes I forget.

Goddamn it I have so much to do--all good stuff so I can't complain--but I'm behind on my blog reading and I'm way behind on my Albany TimesUnion.com obituary reading. Obituaries--the Irish sports page, right? I always know somebody in there, an old neighbor from Lincoln Avenue or a former classmate's father or, now at this age, my former classmates themselves. God knows what I'm missing.

So in the middle of all this busy-ness, what did I do yesterday but make an offer on a condo. I feel this sense of obligation to get in on the $8000 tax credit, plus I know, I know, it's crazy to spend so much on rent. But I love, love, love my apartment and I'm not horribly motivated to move. Look at the view out my kitchen window. That's the Strip in the background. It's kind of hard to see, but it's there.


And this is from my balcony.


This is how it looks in the morning when I get up to go to friggin' work


Okay, the condo has a view, too. Of the Strip, and it's a lot closer. It's actually very nice--it's in a nice section of town, it's a nice complex. It's just what I wanted: an upstairs unit with two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a balcony with a view, right near the pool... and all night I've been praying that my offer is refused.

Why? There aren't as many windows as my apartment has, the view isn't as expansive, it doesn't come with appliances so I'd have to go buy a fridge and washer and dryer, and yeah, I guess a stove since everyone seems to have one. (This is stuff I can't get at Ross, you know? Did I ever tell you I hate shopping?) It's in Seven Hills, which is not as convenient to the highways like where I am now... blah, blah, blah.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Well, yes, I do--I'm full of fear. I'm afraid I won't like it and wish I were back in my apartment. I'm afraid I'll feel stuck, life I have to live there forever. Did I ever tell you about my fear of commitment? Why do you think I prefer contract and consulting jobs to "permanent" employment? I can't even commit to a shopping cart in the grocery store! Why do you think a good looking gal like me is single? (Don't answer that.)

On top of being nutzo, I'm a Libra. I can't make a friggin' decision. Paper or plastic? I don't know--is one better than the other? How do I know what I'm gonna like next week?

When I walked in the condo yesterday, I said, "This is perfect!" and now I'm like ready to cry. I imagine the universe is throwing its hands up in frustration, going "Linda! WTF??? I'm giving you everything you've asked for--you're makin' me crazy!"

But the universe unfolds in divine order, as you've heard me say ad nauseum. So we'll see. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

But what if I have a neighbor who plays rap music?

Please tell me you get mental sometimes, too. Huh?

17 comments:

Gail said...

Oh, yes, not just sometimes but quite often, I keep it concealed within my head and no one knows.

Your paper/plastic reminded me of a story I read where the child and mom were carrying the groceries in without a container. Dad says what happened, child says the bag boy asked Mom if she wanted to clog a landfield or kill some trees, so...

Change is hard for all of us. Every change is a growth process and also great material. You will have buyers remorse, that is common, then you will have seller's remorse when you move again. Nothing is set in concrete.

I am in an opposite dilema than you. I want to retire to enjoy all the things I have not had time to enjoy...writing, painting, volunteering, riding horses and just relaxing without a schedule. I fight every day with myself and pray for an email from God.

If you have any answers for me, I will make up some for you.

Gail said...

PS: I am totally horrified by rap music and I consider myself to be quite open about music.

The Peach Tart said...

I'm so mental I scare myself. Just relax. All is in perfect order.

Danica said...

OMG I got so mental the other day over a job interview. Great job, 6 figure salary, 100% travel (or so I thought). Then it dawned on me what I would be missing if I had to travel...LW, my friends, my nephews football games during the week, book club, shopping with my girls, coffee and dinner with friends, etc. I'd have no time to do anything. So the interview came, I scored high and they were ready to move me onto the next round of interviews (mind you I cried all night about it saying I hope they don't give me the job because I can't say no to a 6 figure salary), when all of the sudden she asked me when I would be relocating to the area. TADUH I got my out! I'm not relocating for shit. So 6 figure salary gone, and I'm smiling.

So long story short, if renting makes you happy, rent! Don't buy a condo just because...because you could be stuck with it and what happens if you want to move closer to your daughter (doesn't she live out of state?).

Whatever you decide though is the best for you and I'm sure you'll be happy no matter where you live.

Hurricane Mikey said...

7 Hills is way too far away from me.

Nice area, but I'm sure the homeowners association will probably have something to say about your Saturn.

Heh.

Other Mikey's Julie said...

I love Gail! I too secretly hope God will shoot me an e-mail or drop an anvil on my head so that I know the right choice to make. If I do something, I just want to do it right - not that I am afraid to fail - I just don't want to! (Also the Libra in me)
But my life has been a perfect example of everything happening for a reason - so now I take most things in stride knowing that the right path will show its way.

Tara said...

I bet if you were normal, we wouldn't all like you as much :)

Sean G said...

Don't do it if you don't want to. Owning property (especially a condo) is not anywhere near as cracked up as it seems to be.

Although dealing with rent hikes does suck (right Mikey?).

classicrockforthesoul said...

Hahaha just another bullet point to add to the list of why you're awesome!

:)

Julie said...

Unless you offered them asking price, they will probably counter back unless they are desperate to unload it. If they counter, just let it go if you aren't 100% into it. It's gonna be a lot harder to unload a condo in Vegas than it is to break a lease on your apartment should you decide to relocate or cohabitate or whatever in the future....

Trust me, I'm a Realtor. :)

Lori Biker said...

If it comes to be it is meant to be! You will be so successful that you can keep the condo in Vegas and also buy one in NY! So, what's the problem?

slacker-chick said...

That's a tough one Linda Lou - is it just the natural fear of Change or is your gut telling you that you are just fine where you are? I've been a house and condo owner and apartment living doesn't sound so bad to me - the freedom to leave is a perk.

Tom Bradley Jr. said...

Nothing wrong with being a Saturn owner. I have two. I get 30+ mpg in each. Yes, they are the nerdiest, most white-bread cars on the freeway but by golly, I love 'em!

dle1004 said...

Step away from the condo....don't do it...this from a fellow Libra. With every condo comes a commando somewhere. I thought ownership would be the way to go...wrong oh so wrong...When something breaks or goes wrong it is so easy to call the landlord...and a real pain to deal with it yourself....

K a b l o o e y said...

Good luck with the decision. I'm not going to weigh in since I'm 45 and have never owned a place. (Go, me!) But I'm also unbelievably indecisive and have suffered horrific buyers remorse over a $40 pair of shoes, a greeting card, you name it. I will say you should probably trust your gut, though.

AmyK said...

You are happy where you are. A Condo is not a pair of shoes. Just because it is $8000 off, does not mean you have to buy it. Take a big breath and go on in your own world. It's not a bad place to be.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Thanks, everyone! I'm telling you, I need all the help I can get. So freakin' neurotic.