Saturday, December 19, 2009

How to endear yourself to your co-workers: accidentally drop the F-bomb in a meeting

Yesterday at work I conducted a mini training session on how to overcome procrastination. I know--blind leading the blind, right? One of the tips I gave was to approach a task in chunks; tell yourself you'll work on something for just a half hour and then reward yourself so you associate the task with pleasure, not pain.

“For example,” I began, “to motivate myself to exercise, I say ‘I’m only gonna do it for 30 minutes and then I can reward myself with a beer.’”

I swear to God, that’s the crap I spout off at work. And they love me.

When I first started this job three years ago, I reported to a little Chinese guy who conducted weekly department meetings that were simply intolerable. Everyone sat at a giant conference table and each of us had to blah, blah, blah report on what we’d done since the previous meeting. At seven o’clock in the friggin’ morning, and as if anyone cared. I always had something inane to say, and most of the time I’d just make shit up, but one morning I was truly excited about a training session I'd held.

“It was great!” I gushed. “And this project was a big fuckin—“

Oops.

“That totally slipped!” I exclaimed, but everyone was laughing too hard to hear any excuses. I swear to God, I don’t know how many people came up to me during that day, high five-ing me and saying stuff like, “I love working with you!” I was like, “You gotta be kidding. I’m a total a-hole” but they would have no part of it—they thought I was the tits. Ha!

So I do these little mini trainings like "Overcoming Procrastination" and "Ten Steps to More Effective Meetings" on a monthly basis now. They’re light and fluffy, but they get people out of their cubicles and I’m pretty sure my co-workers come out of them with one or two decent takeaways.

I always put together a little handout and I try to find a cartoon or something funny to stick on it to keep the mood upbeat. This is what I put on yesterday's handout.


Oh, but if only I had the balls to insert this little gem. I have a feeling I'd be voted Employee of the Year.

If only I had the balls...

16 comments:

Barbara aka Layla said...

I have never had a co-worker like you. They should pay you extra for keeping the morale up.

OHN said...

We will all chip in a dollar a piece for you to present that.

Is that motivation?

Vegas Linda Lou said...

You know, Barbara, I think I'll suggest that at my next performance review.

OHN, I should do it for free, like on my last day of work. "Thank you and goodnight!"

Karen Sosnoski said...

Very funny. Hey, I almost feel motivated to work out now, thanks :-)

Karen

Hurricane Mikey said...

Linda has left the building!

I think that giving those little micro-seminars in just good practice for being up on stage.

Fragrant Liar said...

Haha, I think you underestimate yourself... Or maybe I'm confusing you with me, cuz I would totally show that little gem.

Carol said...

Oh Linda, won't you move to Perth, so I too, could work with someone fabulous like you!

Have a great week-end.

:)

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Can you imagine how many laughs and high fives that would've gotten you. Then again, it depends on how many stuffy folks you work with though.

Good for you for mixing comedy with serious stuff.

Julie said...

I. Dare. You.

I've seen your balls, they're huge. I dare you to use that one next time.

gayle said...

I would love to sit in on your meetings!! Sounds a whole lot better than the ones I do attend.

Loved the one you didn't use the best!!

Anonymous said...

FUCK!

KriMonster said...

Is this the same meeting that I sat in on? Or does this mean that the accidental drop of the "F Bomb" has happened more than once?!?

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Oh, no, Kri--that's the very one you witnessed.

Maybe I should move to Perth and spread the joy?

Perplexio said...

I saw a Star Wars themed poster like that. It showed a storm trooper with his head in his hands.

The caption read:

REGRET
Those WERE the droids you were looking for.

Methinks you'd be a hoot and a half to work with.

classicrockforthesoul said...

I can only imagine what it'd be like to work with you!

At least I know I'd want to get out of bed and go into work every morning. ;)

Anonymous said...

I always inspired by you, your views and attitude, again, thanks for this nice post.

- Thomas