Thursday, February 10, 2011

Need some peace and quiet? Come to Linda-land!

As I write this, my beloved and extremely handsome Michael, a 52-year-old man with an off-the-charts genius IQ, is sitting in the living by himself playing Call of Duty Black Ops.  Or, in his words, "protecting the free world." For those of you who are fortunate enough not to know what the hell Black Ops is, it's the most annoying f*cking video game ever invented. Shooting, shooting, shooting, shooting, shooting, shooting, shooting, shooting, shooting, shooting... get the picture?

Look, I know damn well that I'm the fussiest pain in the ass that ever walked the planet; if I were queen, I would behead someone for breathing too loud.  So you can imagine this Black Ops is driving me positively crazy.  (Short trip.)  

Hmmmm... You know what I haven't told you yet? You know how I'm 53 and I had my kids when I was 20 and 21, which would make them in their early 30s? Well, Mike had his first kid when he was 37, was 42 for the second, and 46 when the youngest was born. That's right--two of his kids are younger than my grandson. God bless us. I've never mentioned them because they're simply not my kids to talk about. They're adorable and I truly love them, but between Black Ops going 24/7 and the fact that I have the baseline patience of John McEnroe in five o'clock traffic, sometimes I need to get away from it all.

And so I've come up with a solution. Your pal Linda Lou found a little crash pad.  Yep, I went back to the apartment complex I lived in for 7 years before I went back East this summer and I got myself a cute little 1 BR; my retreat from the chaos. Now don't read too much into this; Mike and I are not breaking up over a freakin' video game.  I'm still going to live with him, but as I mentioned in an earlier post, the house he's in now is temporary and although it's like 2400 sq. ft., the layout is weird and sometimes there's no place for me to go if I just want to sit and read a magazine in peace.

But now I will create a glorious Linda-land, just down the road.  I absolutely loved my old apartment, and this one is just as adorable, but much smaller (780 sq. ft.).  Like my old place, I have an amazing view of the entire Las Vegas valley--look at all the windows!


This Strip is in the distance, but you can't tell from the picture.  Here it is at night.


I just started moving boxes from my storage unit on Monday and after 9 months, it's so good to see my stuff again.  Look, I found my Loretta Lynn nail clippers!  You know you've made it when your image graces personal hygiene items, right?


Of course, during Purgefest 2010 I got rid of tons of crap (that I don't miss), and I'd love to say I'm now down to the essentials, but I think I can purge a little more.  Quite honestly, I could sit in an empty room with nothing but my rocks and decorations and be very happy just to enjoy the precious, precious peace. 

My little bit of heaven is super cute (they painted, put in new carpeting and vinyl flooring, and let's not forget the two pools and hot tubs) and it's only $700 a month.  This got me thinking--wouldn't it be a great idea for a bunch of mothers and step-mothers (or fathers and step-fathers) to chip in together for a little getaway like this?  "Honey, I'm going to the clubhouse."  You could stock the fridge with beer and wine and maybe have a pool table... the possibilities are endless!  Seriously, how brilliant am I?

Today I leave for Idaho to see Mom and Step-daddy (and kick their senior asses in Scrabble), but I'm really looking forward to putting Linda-land together when I get back.  It's going to be fun--I'll keep you posted!

13 comments:

Sammi said...

Linda I think this is Brillant! I want my own Sammi World! Maybe someday, right now I have to be content with the kid, the husband and the never ending racket of two turtles. Have fun decorating and making it your cozy little world.

Josie said...

My son plays black ops as much as he can get away with. All I'm thinking is only $700 a month for that view? I'm moving!

Hurricane Mikey-- said...

We menfolk are way ahead of you on this one. We call them 'man caves' and if they're not in the basement, attic, or garage, it's in a secret location you don't know about.

We go there and smoke cigars, drink scotch, look at porn, and play Call of Duty without getting hassled.

The only downside is that we have to make our own sammiches.

Julie said...

Nice! Good for you....I was wondering how long it was going to take being around a 6 year old before you pulled your hair out. LOL

Liz said...

Awesome! Luckily, I have places to "get away" if need be in my house. But, if I could get that view, I'd rent a place like that in a heartbeat!

sydnee said...

Hoorah. My whole life has been securing my space....love it. You're so well balanced it's shameful. Proud of you, enjoy your never, never land...and start writing....

Mike Dennis said...

Clubhouse? Beer? Wine? Pool table? Why not throw in a few male strippers to help while away the long hours of solitude.

Debbie said...

LINDA! You crack me up! I loved the line about beheading someone for breathing too loud! LOL - CAUSE I'D DO THE SAME THING!!! As I've said in several of my posts, i think the best situation for married people or couples like yourself is to live next door to each other. He can play Black Ops all he wants into the night and you can go next door and sleep in quiet comfort. It's a brilliant solution!

XOXO
Deb

Mellodee said...

That's great....if you have an extra $700 laying around every month. Sorry, but that's a lot of money that a bunch of us just don't have. (sigh)

Sous Chef said...

May the grass always be greener in Linda-land (when you need it). Great idea, sounds like a perfect solution for the time being.

dle said...

I think that is a terrific idea...luckily mine doesn't play Black Ops but a damn racing game..I am so with you on the breathing part also...that and mindless humming!!!

AngPerry said...

You ARE brilliant. I can't stand the effin video games either. I'll pitch in to visit Linda land!

Anonymous said...

It's always about you you you, isn't it? I'm sure you do a lot of things that drive Mike crazy too, but he is too much of a gentleman to complain about it or make it an issue.