Thursday, April 28, 2011

"More issues than Sports Illustrated"

Today is Take Your Kids to Work day.  It used to be called "Take Your Daughters to Work," so little girls could experience first-hand the fantastic and rewarding alternatives to becoming something--anything--other than a stay-at-home mom.  They had to be kidding, right?

Seriously, why would anyone in their right mind choose to toil away in a cubicle shuffling papers they could not give two shits about, taking orders from a self-important blowhard of a boss when they could be calling the shots all day in their own house and in their pajamas until they're goddamn good and ready to get dressed?  I was home with my kids when they were little and I'm telling you, it was the tits. 

Being the smart gal that I am, I had two kids less than 13 months apart (!) so they had each other to play with all day, especially while I watched Guiding Light (RIP).  Christopher and Courtney were so cute--they'd be nice and quiet and would wait for the commercials if they wanted my attention (because they knew I would totally ignore them anyway).  Guiding Light was the oasis in my day--everything would stop at 3:00 so I could visit with my friends in Springfield.  Aah, the good old days.

Yep, this was before VCRs were invented--can you imagine?  And there was no 24/7 children's programming, even on cable, so the only chance to pop the kids in front of the TV was during Sesame Street, and if you missed it, you were S.O.L. That's right people, I was a stay-at-home mom back when there was no such thing as the video babysitter.   And it was still better than going to work!

Right now I have it made work-wise.  I toil away in our home office in my pajamas, get dressed whenever I'm goddamn good and ready, and report to someone 2,500 miles away.  Funny--I still think of one particular self-important blowhard of a boss I had years ago.  What a pompous bastard he was!  I'm still friends with one of the girls I worked with back then and we often wonder about him.  He'd be close to 90 now, if he's still alive.  We have no idea, but we like to imagine him drooling in a nursing home sitting in his own piss and shit.  Isn't that terrible?  Man, talk about holding a grudge!

I did work for some very nice people over the years, too, but when I think of some of the bosses I had in the early days, I realize there were a couple with serious mental issues.  I can't believe how I let them push me around, but I was only a kid so what did I know?  One of the greatest things about getting older is you no longer take crap from people; I imagine how the 53-year-old Linda would handle them.  Very differently, I can tell you that.

How about you?  Were you able to stay home with your kids?  Did you enjoy it? 

Do you have some not-so-fond memories of bosses from your youth?  How do you imagine them these days?

[NOTE TO MANDY:  I'd love to meet you while you're in Vegas.  Send me an email at linda@bastardhusband.com and we'll make it happen!]

4 comments:

Jenni said...

LOL I am so relieved to see someone else say exactly how I feel about working vs staying at home. I have always been a stay at home mom but, I toiled away from the age of 13 until I was pregnant with my first child. I love being at home with them plus I homeschool them so I don't fret about all the needless, useless bullshit they would be learning from teachers or other students. If I wasn't an insomniac it would help me sleep better at night. LOL

Debbie said...

ANOTHER LAUGH OUT LOUD POST! ok, I never had kids so i never had the option to be a stay at home mom. worked like a man always knowing there as no one to 'take care of me'. had a great gig as a legal secretary, made big bucks in l.a. but i also worked for more than my share of psychotic narcissists who, I HATE to this day. yes, i too, can hold a grudge. i spent many hours wishing, hoping, and plotting for revenge. arranging a drive-by? ... no one would EVER suspect me ... sugar in the gas tank? mailing gay porn to him at the office? I had a million of 'em.
THEN i was layed off for two years, and even though i had no money I LOVED IT. NEVER, EVER HAVE I NOT WORKED. I think God actually took pity on me and said, imona let this poor broad stay home for a while. Anyway, i'd take staying home ANY DAY to working. I wish i had a gig like yours. working from home and reporting to a boss 2,500 miles away. Any openings????
LOL
xoxo
Deb

Tracey said...

I don't have any children but I have worked for many an a-hole. I, like you think wonder how I would handle this "present day", older and of course wiser. Anywho, Wayne O (won't put his whole name on here to protect his privacy).. ahhh hell no, his name is Wayne Overman, Wayne O or Mr. O as other people in the office called him. He called me into his office one day to repremand me for ordering the wrong paper clips or something. I noticed that he had a box of those little candy hearts that say silly stuff on them and come out around valentines day... he picked up the box and shook a couple hearts out onto his desk in my direction and said..... "I think I'll start treating you like a dog and when you do something good, I'll give you a treat".

Mmmmm hmmmm, can you believe he'd speak to me like that? I hope his penis fell off. hehe

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Oh, Tracey...

I, too, hope his penis fell off. And then someone threw a lit cigarette on it and then stomped it out. He deserves it.