That would make an awesome obituary picture, no? People would be like, man, too bad she's dead--she's cute as hell. (Being an a-hole again.) As much as I have practically made a second career of scrutinizing my reflection for imperfections, I actually think I am pretty goddamn decent looking for a 53-year-old.
Until I saw this photo. My friend Gail took this last week when we were in Sedona.
Oh, hold on. I cropped out the horrifying part. Here's the whole picture.
Ugh! Can you say, "middle-age spread"? Seriously, WTF?
That, my friends, was my wake-up call. You know how you hear about a 600-lb. guy and you're thinking, "Dude, when the scales tipped, let's say 300, didn't you think, 'Holy shit, I gotta put the brakes on?'" Well, 140 is my 300. Christ, I weighed 139 on my last doctor's appointment before I gave birth. Both times.
So this is what I'm doing about it:
- Needless to say, I've been doing my Buns of Steel DVD all week and no kidding, I already can tell things are firming up. That video is freakin' magic!
- I replaced my 250-calorie per bowl Starbucks mocha chip ice cream with 60-calorie Ciao Bella sorbet. I don't even notice the difference.
- I eat whatever carbs I want before noon and then try to cool it from there. Cutting carbs makes a huge difference, but I need the energy in the morning.
- I eat no food after 6 p.m. except sorbet. I know there are carbs in sorbet, but tough.
- I replaced my dark beer with Coors Light. I don't even notice the difference. ... ... ... PSYCHE! What, are you out of your freakin' mind? That's a quality of life issue!