Yesterday we were in Lowe's. Again. Mike's been going nuts lately buying a new houseplant every time I turn around, so while he looked for his next purchase in the garden section, I decided to roam around a bit. Two minutes later, I returned to him, so excited I could jump out of my skin.
"Mike! Mike! I never ask for anything. Please buy me this! Buy me this for Christmas. Pleeeeease!"
He looked at me like I was insane. "What? What?"
At that moment, I screamed. Mike threw a protective arm around me. "WHAT?"
"There's a bird in the store!" I regained my composure. "That's not what I want for Christmas."
"You found something you want for Christmas in Lowe's?"
I took his hand. "I'll show you. Close your eyes. You won't believe this. I'm so excited!" I led him through the store. "Don't peek. DON'T PEEK!"
We stopped in front of the Christmas section. Christmas?! Me?! I can't freakin' stand Christmas. All I've done for the past 20 years is bitch about Christmas and how much I can't stand it. And now I want something for Christmas that's in the Christmas section? Yes, that is correct.
"Okay, open your eyes."
Mike opened his eyes and was like, "What the...?"
"I want this. For Christmas. You'll be totally off the hook. You won't have to buy me anything else. If you don't get this for me, I'll buy it myself. I love this! I can't live without it!"
Even though he was all like, "Wow, Linda. Really? This is what you want for Christmas?" he did, in fact, buy it for me. I was so freakin' happy!!! I was already having a great day--I got a cool, funky (and long overdue) haircut from my fellow comedian friend, Lynn Yafchak, and was feeling like a new woman. And now, to find this awesome Christmas present...
Of course, Mike got it for me (I love him!!!) and put it together as soon as we got home. Are you ready?
HOW FREAKIN' COOL IS THAT???
It's an alternative Christmas tree! And the best part is, I can put hearts all over it in February and shamrocks in March. I can even put it outside if I want. That's right, I can enjoy my Christmas tree all year 'round!
I freakin' love that thing. And Mike--best. boyfriend. ever. I'm a lucky, lucky girl.
|You can't tell from this picture, but this haircut is SASSY!|