Saturday, September 1, 2012

7 Things You Should Never Say to Single People

Happy Labor Day weekend, everyone!

I'm having another wonderful adventure with Mike today, but I want to give a shout-out to anyone who's recently divorced or split from a relationship.  Oh, I remember all too well how holiday weekends SUCKED when I was in that time of life.  I feel your pain, people!

In your honor, I'm reposting something from last year.

7 Things You Should Never Say to Single People

As many of you know, people say the stupidest goddamn things to single people. Here’s a list of my favorites, and by “favorites” I mean do not ever let these words roll off your tongue or I will march right over to your house and kick your ass.

1. “I wish you could find someone nice.” OMG, that’s f*cking brilliant! Hold on, let me write that down.

2. “You know what they say--you gotta kiss a lot of frogs.” Why don’t you just say, “Holy shit, you sure know how to pick a bunch of losers” because that’s essentially what you’re getting at.

3. “I hate to see you by yourself.” No, you hate the thought of YOU being by yourself. Don’t project your insecurities onto someone who happens to be going solo.

4. “You’d think a good-looking woman like you would have no problem finding someone.” Hmm… maybe I should look behind the couch.

5. “You’re too picky.” Oh, right—I haven’t met my frog quota yet.

6. “You’re trying too hard to meet someone. When it’s right it will just happen.” Okay, go get me something to hit you with.

And by far, the most annoying:

7. “Maybe you’re just meant to have some time alone.” Single people spend WAY too much time alone—the last thing they need to hear is this bullshit.

What did I miss? Anything you want to add?


Mimi said...

Lolol! It's all true!
But, the people who say those things are probably the same ones who ask married people "any sign of pattering of little feet?"
Some people have no idea how to mind their own business!
Have a wonderful holiday weekend Linda!

S in SK said...

"I know there is someone very special and perfect out there for you somewhere!" It's too bad it's like looking for the needle in the haystack!

Rob said...

Great collection of quotes.

The amazing thing is that people saying these things all think they're being HELPFUL!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

@ Mimi: There's just no polite way to say, "Mind your own business," is there? I wish!

@ S in SK: Good one! I'll have to add that to the list.

@ Rob: You're right--they're just saying that because they care. HA!