I know exactly what’s been prompting these thoughts. It all started on Christmas Eve when I read in the USA Today on the plane back to Albany that Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins split up after being together for what? Something like twenty-three years? Evidently they’ve been separated since the summer, and believe me, I was pissed as hell that they waited until Christmas Eve to break the news and ruin everyone’s holiday.Goddammit, I thought they were the perfect couple. Even though they never married, I still considered them to be the poster children for the viability of long-term relationships. Susan Sarandon has been kind of a role model to me; living proof that you can be hot and sexy and have the best tits in Hollywood even into your 60s. And although now I totally prefer men around my own age, I went through a period where I constantly dated--or married--younger men (I have a good 8 years on B.H.), and I thought it was extremely cool that Tim Robbins was a full 12 years younger than his now ex-mate.
I wonder what happened. Did he wake up one morning and think, “You know, I can totally get a chick half my age, why am I banging this old bat”? (I so hope not--I fancy him as being much classier than that.) Or did they naturally grow apart? Either way, it makes you wonder if it’s folly to expect marriage and togetherness to last forever. Oh, sure, there are those who will hang on until death do they part, but I can guarantee that for a fair share of those couples, the magic has been long gone and they stay together because of logistics or economics or laziness or fear of the consequences of making a move.
It takes balls to separate, whether or not any paperwork is involved; in many ways it’s an act of bravery. Yeah, I get that. But if cool-ass people like Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins can’t keep it together, then is there any hope for the rest of us? No pressure, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, but you’d better not fuck things up. A lot of us are depending on you.
I'm with you on this one. Susan is my muse and I thought they were so perfect together after meeting on the set of Bull Durham, my favorite movie, and then their building a life together over 20 years. Just goes to show...you never know. Happy New Year sweet Linda Lou.
ReplyDeleteI think most people who do stay together only do so to either A) avoid having custody of their own kids or B) are too damn lazy to find a place of their own.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I can think of maybe two couples I know who have what I consider a happy marriage. But the thing about that is....most people thought my ex and I had a happy marriage too...we faked it in public really well!
So I don't know if "happily ever after" exists, or if it's just something Hallmark has shoved down our throats for so long, we all believe it.
You always seem to echo my thoughts EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis made me really sad too. Maybe those people who said monogamy just isn't natural were right. I hope not.
ReplyDeleteI for one think that nowadays too many people are jaded and expect more than any of us can provide for "instant gratification" for any length of time. I've been married for 28 years to my lovely soul-mate and still look at her with adoring eyes. Maybe people don't work at it long enough, or perhaps you just get lucky and find the right one. Either way, perhaps the Universe is really just a crapshoot after all.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to see them break up as well. Hollywood romances don't seem to last. I've only been married for 18 years but I can imagine being with the love of my life for the rest of it. He's my soul mate! Do we always agree? No. Do we argue? Yes. But, we love each other more than life itself.
ReplyDeleteHoly Shiat! Show's you how far out of it I am--I thought Susan Sarandon was his mom!
ReplyDeleteCongrats to those of you who are enjoying wonderful, loving, long-term relationships! Sounds like you know how lucky you are.
ReplyDelete@ Mikey: OMG, YOU ARE TOTALLY GOING TO HELL!
i was so upset about the break-up -- they seemed the ideal couple.
ReplyDeletei, too, worried that he'd left her for some chickie. then i heard the rumor that SHE was seeing a really, really young guy, and that was the reason. i'm sorry, but it made me feel better. i'm so freaked by all these guys who leave their lovely wives for "starlets".
i'm 45 and never married. my sister and brother have both been married 30 years. my favorite cousin has 40. i always wondered what was wrong with me. guess what -- nothing is wrong. i like it this. i don't think i could live with anyone full-time for more than a weekend. sorry to my beloved boyfriend, but that's me.
great post!
I felt that same tremor when I heard the news, "If THEY can't make it - who can?" but it was long for Hollywood, so I guess it is all relative. Still sad though.
ReplyDeleteI have never believed in happy ever after
ReplyDeletemaybe cause I grew up
with parents who where not very happy together
and sometimes abusive with each other
yet they now have been married 50 years
unless you count those few years they divorced
then remarried lol
My Nana who lived with us
on the other hand had a wonderful marriage
she and my grandfather where true soul mates
she would tell me so
but sadly he died suddenly of a heart attack when I was 3
and I watched her miss him every day
she would talk about him and them all the time
she missed him every day till she died
showing me that Happy does not last forever
one way or another happy always ends
so no I don't believe in happy ever after
what I believe is
that we have many levels of soul connections
there is not just one person
that will complete the picture in our minds of "happiness"
that even the bad relationship we have ..
they have purpose
even those had happy moments
but like all happy moments they end ..
cause nothing ends "happy" does it?
I believe in contentment
loving someone enough
to go through all the bullshit
life throws at them
and sticking it out
not because you have too
but because you just can't let the other go
even though at times they can make you so mad
so crazy ..you just want to kill them lol
and sometimes you think..
Yes!!!... killing them would make me happy lol
I believe that it's sometimes harder to stay together
then break it off
many..many times over the span of a marriage
but when all happiness is gone
it's very hard to let it go ..I know this ..did this ..
You are always hoping and praying happiness returns
even a glimmer of what once was
and when it's gone
it's gone
Personally I don't even want to label
my relationship a marriage
I don't know exactly why but
it's my relationship
yes I am married
I have a piece of paper that says I am
had that piece of paper now almost 13 years
but in a moment of unhappiness
I could burn that piece of paper
and I could leave and not look back
But I can't ...
why?
because
I would miss him
my heart would hurt..
just to see him
talk to him
kiss him
be with him
laugh with him
fight with him
lean on him
hate him
all those emotions
is to me what "happiness" really is
it's living
it's what matters
not the car we drive
not how much money we make
not the house in which we live
it's the life between us
it's the laughter
and the fights
the bond
the love
the strength
the fight over the remote
that's what happiness is to me
will it last forever?
nope
cause nothing lasts forever
and nothing ever ends Happy
Beautiful, Lorrie! As always.
ReplyDeleteI too thought oh no! And then, hope Goldie and Kurt hold out...it's like, we really want people to make it so we can hold onto the dream as well.
ReplyDeleteFor realz, Goldie and Kurt better not be rethinking their relationship.
ReplyDeleteWe need at least one 20+ year Hollywood couple to last!!
What's next... Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson?! Sheesh.
Goldie and Kurt better not let us down. I was SO UPSET by this too! How could they? She's my role model. I dated a guy 14 years younger than me and he called me his "susan sarnadon" how hot is that? I plan to be sexy forever. (are you proud of me, I'm really working on this self esteem stuff!)
ReplyDeleteWhat about Annette Benning & Warren Beatty? I know he was a consumate womanizer before he met Benning but she seems to have tamed him a bit, sown his wild oats if you will. They've been together for close to 20 years now, haven't they?
ReplyDeleteAnd then there was Paul & Linda McCartney. If not for her passing they'd still be together. And in all their time together, they claim they only ever spent one night apart.
My parents have been married for over 50 years and were high school and later college sweethearts for a few years before they inevitably married. So they've actually been together for close to 60 years now. They still hold hands.
My grandparents on my dad's side were both 48 when my grandfather died of cancer. My grandmother never remarried, to my knowledged she never showed any interest in any man after her husband died. She eventually died over 30 years later.
So it does happen.
To Lorri: Happiness consists of the attainment of our desires, and in having only right desires.-Augustine.
ReplyDeleteI agree!! I hate it when people break up and any age and anytime!! Just makes me sad!!
ReplyDeleteIf Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson split up, I will *happily* step in to fill the void in her life.
ReplyDeleteI'm just sayin'...