Have you ever been? For the longest time I resisted, thinking I'd be the fattest, oldest, ugliest person there. Seriously people, I'm a solid size 8--I thought for sure I'd be publicly stoned for presenting myself as such an atrocity.
Oh, pull-eeese. It's nothing like that at all. I've been there a few times now and have never felt that vibe one bit. (I bet some people wonder the same about Las Vegas--believe me, I don't think it's at all pretentious.) L.A. is a blast! As I mentioned in my last post, my friend Nina is a tour guide, so she knows all the in's and out's.
Nina lives in a high-rise apartment on Wilshire Blvd. with 24/7 valet service--swanky, eh?
It's in the Westwook section, where UCLA is located. Westwood is cool, with lots of shops and restaurants, and she's also a short drive to Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, and the beach.
Last time I was there (pre-blog, unfortunately), Nina showed me all the stars' houses in Beverly Hills, Bel-Air, and the Hollywood Hills. That was so much fun. This time, she again took me to a place right in her neighborhood where the stars hang out. Kind of.
Yep, we did a little tour of the Pierce Bros. Westwood Memorial Park. It's exactly like the Coon Dog Cemetery I've been bragging about in northwest Alabama, except instead of coon dogs, it's full of famous people.
Look, there's Archie Bunker!
Nice that the Odd Couple are together for eternity...
What's Jack Lemmon in these days? Oh, the ground.
(Side note: I know Tony Randall's dead, but wouldn't Jack Klugman make a perfect "Dead or Alive" question? I vote alive.)
A lot of people had funny stuff etched on their tombstones.
Hey, guess who Merv's next door neighbor is?
(Sniff.) Nothing funny there. But if I were Farrah, I'd have "God damn you, Michael Jackson, for dying on the same day and stealing all the grief that should have been mine."
Lots of other people you know are there.
Marilyn's not in the ground; she's in a drawer in a wall, just like Dean Martin. I also saw the final resting places of Natalie Wood, Bob Crane, and so many more.
I thought this one was funny...
If you're like me, you're wondering who the eff is David Moran of Beloit, WI? (And did he ever hear of using commas?) I have no idea. I even tried looking for him on Find a Grave.com. This is a super cool site that you'll want to browse for the rest of your work day.
The only thing is, I'm pissed about who I didn't know was there before I went. Like I totally missed out seeing the graves of Roy Orbison, Jim Backus (a.k.a. Thurston Howell III), Sebastian Cabot and Brian Keith, Frank Zappa, and Jonathan Harris--freakin' Dr. Zachary Smith of Lost in Space. "Oh, the pain..."
I am so going back.
(And see, that's one place where truly nobody cares that you're a size 8.)