Thursday, June 23, 2011

My dog's poop is not only fake, it's clean

You know how you can see the list of your most recent texts on your iPhone?  I was just looking at mine and thought, what a loser.  Seriously, Linda, you call yourself a writer?   (Obviously I have quite the propensity for exclamation points.)  

"Holy shit!"
"That's good news!"
"Will do!"
"I don't know!"
"Hahaha!! I love you!"
"I wanted to, but I was dead tired!"
"Ha! Not that he needs sugar!"
"I just accidentally washed Stiff's fake poop!"

Wait, what was that last one?  "I just accidentally washed Stiff's fake poop"?

Yeah, I sent that one out to my friend Kristin and my sister Lori.  If you're a long-time reader, you already know about my dog, Stiff.    I got Stiff from Beautiful Aunt Joyce for my fiftieth birthday and it was the best present ever.  Stiff is the perfect pet for me because he’s not real.  Like he's stuffed. Hello--why do you think he’s called “Stiff?”

Cute, huh?

Stiff's been on two cross-country road trips (so far).  He's so low maintenance and I never have to worry about the ASPCA getting on my case for leaving him in a hot car.

He's low maintenance, but not no maintenance because one night I was out kind of late and this is what I came home to.

A couple of weeks ago, somehow his fake poop ended up in the washer.  Seriously, I did not think he could jump up that high.

So that, my friends, explains that particular text message.  And yes, I did attach the photo.  Can you believe I found that important enough to actually send to people? 

If your cell number's not saved in my contact list, count your blessings.


Anonymous said...

Lmaoooo omg we must be related. That is something someone in my family would do. I'm a little curious as to how the fake poop came in to play though, I mean does Stiff poop like those creepy dolls do? Unfortunately I have a real dog so no fake poo around here.

Mimi said...

You're hilarious!
A low-maintenance dog, brilliant idea! I like exclamation marks too! Though sometimes I forget to hold the shift button and end up with a 1 instead1

Jamie said...

LOLOL! Reading your blog is always surprising...and funny. Thank you. :)

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Only a dog named Stiff would have fake poop. LOL

I wonder how many times people have called the ASPCA on you thinking that Stiff being left in the car with the windows rolled up was cruelty to animals?

Barbara said...

you never fail to make my day better, when I read here I laugh every time.

Lori Biker said...

Fake dog, fake poop!
Washing it is kinda like housework!
I love that we drove cross country both ways with him in the car back there! Too fun!