This is not the post I intended to write for today; I’m a bit out of sorts. Moments before I did the panel presentation at the library last night, I talked to my sister Lori, who had some bad news: Beautiful Aunt Joyce in Pennsylvania is not doing well. That’s actually a massive understatement; she’s in the hospital and will soon be moving to the inpatient hospice area. Lori says the medical people said it probably won’t be days, but it could be weeks. Hopefully BAJ will reach a point where she can have hospice services at home. Right now she’s in a lot of pain and her quality of life is starting to suck. She told Lori on Wednesday that she feels she is ready to go.
Cancer. Started with breast cancer; now it’s everywhere.
My first thought is WHY HER? That’s what I just don’t get. BAJ lived the cleanest life imaginable—I doubt she’s ever had a drink and certainly never smoked and maybe I’ve heard her swear once. (Yes, she’s a blood relative—I know what you’re thinking.) On top of it all, she’s a goddamn pastor! Of all people to be suffering. Wouldn't you think God should be on her side?
I fucking hate cancer. God forgive me for saying “fuck” in a post about Beautiful Aunt Joyce, but I fucking hate cancer. Years ago you never heard of cancer like you do today. Hell, I think my first exposure was the movie Brian’s Song; Brian Piccolo was the first person I’d ever heard of having cancer and he wasn’t even someone I knew in real life. That was 1971; I was in junior high school before I even knew a thing about cancer! And now it’s fucking everywhere. WTF is going on???
So as I’m sitting here typing on a laptop computer, it’s hard not to think of all the amazing goddamn technological advances that have been made since that movie came out. It’s just hard to believe that with all the goddamn geniuses coming up with shit like the Internet and freakin’ iPhones that there’s not a single goddamn person walking this earth who’s smart enough to analyze some cells in a fucking petrie dish and discover a cure for cancer.
I mean, really--and all the fucking races to raise money for the cure and American Cancer Society this and that… and give, give, give… and don't even get me going on the New Age thinkers who’ll tell you that it’s your own feelings of resentment that in turn manifest themselves inward as cancer… they can just SUCK. MY. DICK.
Clearly, I’m in the anger stage. I so preferred denial.
Oh, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, you can suck my dick, too. If I had one.
14 comments:
Yes. I'm with you. FUCK CANCER! I'm a one-year breast cancer survivor and I believe it's the environment. I'm one of the healthiest people I know. I don't get colds, but I got cancer. That's why I support Breast Cancer Action, a group trying to get big business to "think before they pink" and clean up their acts. General Mills, Dannon Yogurt, just pledged to stop using hormone-laden milk. I've written about this in my blog "My Big Pink Protest" at Fifty is the New. I'm sorry to hear about your aunt. I hope that she has a smooth transition. There are WAY TOO MANY people, young and old, that are dealing with cancer. Yes, the F-Word is totally appropriate here. If there were a stronger one I'd use it.
So sorry to hear the news. My father died of cancer last october. The end was bad. Cancer can suck my dick too (if I had one).
Josie
Hate to say it but if a cure for cancer happens there would be a bigger economic problem then the one we have now. Think of all the drugs and jobs that wouldn't be needed. Theres a cure out there but it will never be revealed. Sorry to say!
Cancer sucks! I don't even know you, but this post made my heart go out to your aunt.
This was a great post even though the subject is sad.
@ all the girls: Thank you. It truly warms my heart to hear you join me in my "Fuck Cancer/Suck my Dick" crusade. I'm this far from ordering t-shirts.
@ Bob: I see your point; cancer is no doubt a multi, multi-billion dollar industry. But wouldn't you think someone out there would want to be the hero of the universe and find a cure?
P.S. I'd buy a t-shirt. :P
I agree. Cancer is a shit that has no shame about who it lobs on. Never picks just the bad guys.
Not enough money spent on health. But hey, we can all fly to the moon one day. What is that about?
Really sad about your Aunt, hope she gets better.
I am sorry to hear about your aunt ..she is in my thoughts and prayers
I want to believe in Karma, but it seems only the good get cancer and that sucks. I truly cannot not think of one ass of a person, that I know, that got cancer. Someone that you think, "See that's what you get for being an ass." No, only the good ones. I'm so sorry it hit one of your good ones too.
Oh, Linda, I'm so sorry you are going through this pain. I am thinking of you and sending you good thoughts and hugs. Call if you need to talk - I'm here for you just like you were for me!
Linda
I'm a relatively new reader of your blog but I can't help but feel for you right now. I was very young when I lost my mother to cancer. It is not fair, it is not right but yet, it is. Please e-mail me if you would like to vent or share. Take care and God Bless.
Mandy
Oopsie,
I guess my last message went through (2x) even though I thought it disappeared. I'm sure this one will go thru too but whatever, just want to let you know that you have stranger friends that care.
Mandy
Again, girls, thank you so much. Mandy, you made me laugh when you said that I have "stranger friends that care." I'm pretty strange myself!
God Bless BAJ
And my best friends 16 year old brother - Passed in 92
And my mother in law - passed in 95
And my Uncle - passed in 99
And my Dear friend Lanae - still fighting but terminal
And the most awesome Uncle Doug - still fighting and currently in remission.
I probably missed a few. Cancer sucks. It sucks like no other and it infuriates me that it just continues to grow and spread and grow and spread. Cancer sucks.
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