Saturday, November 20, 2010

I'm a "Glamour Don't," but even I wouldn't wear these

I'm the first to admit I know nothing about fashion.  As you know, I can spend fifty bucks in Ross Dress-for-Less and be all set for the season.  And most of the time, I think I look totally hot.
I have one fashion rule:  I wear whatever makes me look the thinnest. And from age 15 to 35--when I actually was thin--I wore Danskins literally every day.  Remember Danskins?  They weren't just for ballet class; I wore them with Levis, skirts, overalls (wince)... I had them in long sleeves, short sleeves, tank tops, scoop necks, turtle necks, V-necks... and in every color imaginable. 

And I'm talking real Danskins--the kind with no snaps at the crotch, not bodysuits.  It was an art form pulling a Danskin over to pee, right? And a source of frustration for the boyfriends; Danskins were the next best thing to keeping the goods under lock and key.

Okay, so who am I to talk about fashion?  But every once in a while, I see a trend that's just plain wrong.  Have you been in a shoe store lately? Have you seen all the open-toe winter shoes and boots?  Yes, open-toe boots!  They might work in Phoenix and Southern California, where the winters never get below 60 degrees, but for the rest of the country, I'm like WTF?  Seriously, what is the freakin' purpose?  If it's cold enough to wear boots, then why would the toe be open?  What am I missing, people?

This is the stupidest trend since those freakin' half sweaters they tried to push on us a couple of years ago.

Are you with me on this?


C.Thurlow said...

Danskins rocked...I had a maroon one. And the 1/2 sweater is a joke indeed. What is it keeping warm, arms? Loved your blog...thanks for the laugh!

linda said...

Agree. Totally. Those shoes look very stupid. Who wants to look like they have goat feet? And why would you want a chill in your kidneys.

I have never seen Danskins here. But a new thing is the Mirdle. It is like Spanx for men. Wrong, wrong and wrong.

What do you think of those gladiator sandals that are all the rage. sigh. yuck.

I Hate to Weight said...

sexy clothes for young girls. heels for four-year olds. and of course, those gladiator sandals via linda. who invented them, out-of-work podiatrists?

Julie D said...

Yeah, I don't get that at all. I can't wear opened toed boots in 6" of snow in Ohio. So what's the point?

Go-Go Rach said...

Totally with you, sista. Ahem, I am still rockin' the Danskin. Hey, I think I look hot, too. Truly, what others think in none of our business, especially when FEELING HOT is involved, don't you think? Great post! Thanks for keeping me laughing!

XXX Rach

Bar L. said...

I agree. I even put away my sandals in January and February down here in So Cal (well, usually I do....).

But why on earth would someone want their toes to freeze, possibly get frostbitten and then have to be amputated all in the name of being stylish? Silly.