I should probably keep these thoughts to myself since I could single-handedly take the women’s movement back a hundred years, but after last Saturday's post, I've come up with five more reasons why I'd make a terrible feminist.
Reason #1: I’d be perfectly happy with the model whereby men provide and protect, and women take care of their kids and their men. Especially their men. And by take care of their men, I mean "take care." Wink, wink. And why not? They deserve it! Please, it’s so much fun and it makes them so happy—it’s the least we can do.
Related to that…
Reason #2: Personally, I’d like to have a word with whoever decided it was a good idea for women to have jobs. I’ve said it a million times: I’ve never had a day at work that was better than a day at home. My grandfather Papa used to check Nana’s wallet everyday to make sure she had money to go out to lunch with her girlfriends from church, and if she was low, he’d stock it with a crisp twenty dollar bill. Awesome! But there I am, sitting in a gray cubicle day after day, churning out proposals and other boring documents that mean nothing to me but a paycheck… hell, I’m nothing but a while collar Norma Rae. Is that really progress?
Reason #3: I love it when people call me “honey.” Especially women, and especially waitresses. Nothing makes you feel more loved than a 110-year-old greasy spoon waitress with painted on eyebrows calling you “hon.” And I’m always intrigued by waitresses who call me that and who clearly are my kids’ age. I know some women get bent out of shape when they’re called “honey,” which is curious because I have a feeling they’ve been called much worse. I take no offense—I’m just thrilled that somebody is actually going to put a plate of food in front of me and all I have to do is sit there.
Reason #4: I think women should make every effort to look pretty. You don’t have to be a classic beauty to keep yourself up. I’m way too vain to let myself go (hello, did you just meet me?), but personally I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Men appreciate it when you care enough to look good. If you can't do it for yourself (and why not?) at least do it for your man.
Reason #5: Men really are the stronger sex. No matter how much I work out, I will never be able to open some jars of spaghetti sauce. Which, unfortunately, says a lot about my cooking.
So there you go. I’m not saying this is how it should be for everybody; I’m just saying this is how I look at it. But still, can you believe that in 2009, this is what I really do believe?
What's your opinion? Am I nuts or right on?