Tuesday, July 21, 2009

New shoes and great advice for the men!

OMG, yesterday at lunch I went to the outlet mall on Las Vegas Boulevard to find a present for my friend’s 50th birthday, but instead I bought the cutest. shoes. ever! Look:


Cute, huh? I knew they were cute, but just to be sure, I asked a couple of eighth graders in the shoe store and they said, “Yeah, they’re totally cute” and with that confirmation, I marched myself right up to the register. I totally wanted to wear them back to work, but I saved them for today, which was a smart strategy because for the first time in ages I didn’t murmur an obscenity when my alarm went off this morning. Nope, I sprung out of bed because I have cute new shoes to wear today!

I have been in kind of a shitty mood lately, too. I thought the grand opening of the new Ross Dress-for-Less near my house would do the trick, but no… every cute little blouse I looked at was already on a hanger in my closet and nothing else brought me joy, so all I got was underwear.

I thought this Marilyn Monroe thong was funny because… well, do you think Marilyn Monroe actually wore a thong?


I hope I become a famous author so 45 years after my death my image will grace products I've never used. Imagine the Linda Lou kitchen apron?

But whatever... new underwear didn't quite do the trick. The fact is, nothing, nothing lifts my spirits like cute shoes!!!

And here's my great advice for the guys: Don’t worry, there’s something in this post for you, and it’s important. I’m going to let you in on the secret to getting laid. It's simple; all you have to do is say this:

“OMG, your shoes are so cute! They totally elongate your legs and make them look very slender. Did you lose weight? Please don’t lose any more; you’re perfect as you are.”
And then, I guarantee, the response you get will be:

“Why, thank you! Now, let’s have a romp in the sack, shall we?”
What could be easier? Try it, you'll see!

16 comments:

The Peach Tart said...

I LOVE the shoes you vamp you. I think your honey's gonna like them too. Maybe with the Marilyn Monroe thong and nothing else.

ModernMom said...

LOL Love the shoes and the advice. A girl can't have too many shoes and a man can't have enough of that quality advice!!

Julie said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE the shoes. I wish they made cute stuff in my size (11) but they don't....

Sigh.

Wonder with me losing weight if I'll go back to a size 10?

Tara said...

Those are SOO cute, and I'm not talkin about the thong, lol! For me, shoes or jeans always make me feel better when I'm down. As a matter of fact, last Friday I hit the outlet mall and ended up with both, which I totally rocked for a party this weekend!

DebraLSchubert said...

Send me those shoes NOW and no one gets hurt!!! My future products will probably include kitchen gadgetry, since I barely know a knife from a fork. And, isn't it amazing guys haven't figured out these simple tricks to getting laid yet? I mean evolution's been happening for how many millions of years now? Since all they care about is sex, you'd think they'd be a bit farther advanced. But, no. We women still have to explain EVERYTHING!!!!;-)

Hurricane Mikey said...

OMG, your shoes are so cute! They totally elongate your legs and make them look very slender. Did you lose weight? Please don’t lose any more; you’re perfect as you are.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Very good, Mikey, but you know I'm taken!

Hurricane Mikey said...

Yeah, I know... I'm just surprised that I was the first one to try it...

BTW, just got back from giving the shakedown artists at the Hendertucky Traffic Court their pound of flesh. Pricks.

slacker-chick said...

I can't do the thong thing. I keep feeling like someone has given me a wedgie - but it (and the shoes) are cute!

Linda and her Twaddle said...

Cute shoes. I am jealous. I cannot wear high shoes. But then again, I already have long legs.....

No, MM did not wear a thong. Her gorgeous bottom would have been clad is perfectly lovely, lacey, silk french knickers. However, had thongs been around, I am sure she would have bought that one.

By the way, here thongs are thing you were on your feet. I would never want one wedged up my bottom.

Danica said...

Totally dig the shoes! Those are something I would wear!!!!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Thanks, gals! I think Peach Tart has a point--they are kind of vampy. But fun!

Suzanne said...

I am amazed I only just found you.

Thanks for making me laugh!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Welcome, Suzanne, and hope you come back. My brain is filled with fascinating crap to write about!

Fragrant Liar said...

My, my! Those ARE cute! And your guy can undress your feet by untying them, right? Just one more way to ramp up the magic.

travel girl said...

Me LOVES your new shoes:)