Saturday, July 25, 2009

No complaints and secrets to aging gracefully

You’ve heard me complain about a lot of things over the past year. My hair, my weight, Mormons, cancer, work, Twitter, feminism… the list is endless. But there are a few things you've never heard me complain about.

One is the Las Vegas weather. So what if it’s 110 degrees? I just think of Albany in January and thank God I’m not freezing my ass off. Plus, the heat keeps me thin. I have to look good in my collection of sleazy little Ross Dress-for-Less tops, so I can’t let myself pork up. And it really is the humidity.

Another thing I never complain about is men. I love them and appreciate them and am thankful for the differences between us. Even Bastard Husband was awesome in his way—I adored him. The only men I’m not so sure about are those Arab guys you see on TV, usually in throngs. Safe to say, it would take them a while to warm up to me. And I said “throngs,” not “thongs.” Eew.

And I never, ever complain about getting older, which is pretty surprising, especially considering how freakin’ vain I am. You never hear me say stuff like, “Weh, I’m getting so old” or “Weh, I’m losing my looks.” When I complain about my looks (which is a stupid thing to do), it’s all about my weight, which is also stupid because in real life I don’t even have a weight problem; I’m just not as thin as I used to be. Weh.

But I have no wrinkles worth fretting over (or maybe I just don’t see them) and fortunately, I have no aches or pains that I hear some people my age go on about. And even at 51, I have yet to experience a hot flash—knock on wood. I somehow escaped PMS, morning sickness, and all the other fun female events, so I'm hoping the big M passes by unnoticed. It's possible.

That's a long way off for most of you. I don’t know for sure, but I get the feeling about 95 percent of my readers are younger than I am, and I’d guess about two-thirds are more than a decade younger. A good portion of my friends here in Vegas are in their thirties—barely older than my kids. Some are younger. I know they look up to me (God help them) and I think it’s important to let them--and you--know that aging doesn’t have to be a drag.

Check out this picture of me and my friend Lisa, taken on the 4th of July. We're almost exactly the same age--just two weeks apart. Kids, this is what 51 looks like! See what you have to look forward to?


(I know, you love Lisa's blouse, huh?) Ha! Granny and Nana gone wild...

And look at this handsome devil I'm with. He's also 51, and he looks like a friggin' GQ model. Damn, I'm a lucky girl! But my point is, guys can look great as they age, too.


I believe there are two things secrets to aging gracefully, and I’m about to offer the same advice I gave last Saturday after my rant about eyelash-thickening Latisse:

1. Stand up straight.
2. Smile.


Stand up straight--simple! I’ve talked before about the importance of good posture; the way you carry yourself has everything to do with the way people perceive you. Want to be treated well? Don’t walk around like a schlub. The easiest way to improve your posture—and your entire life—is to start doing yoga. Don’t assume it’s only for those annoying super-spiritual types. If you’ve always wondered about yoga and would like to give it a try, listen to our Aging Nymphs show, “The Beer Drinkers Guide to Yoga.” Just click the show title in the right sidebar of this site.

And what could be easier than smiling? So do it now! Go out there and have FUN!

So have I convinced you that aging is nothing to fear?

Do you have any secrets you'd like to share?

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so proud of you, Young Grasshoppa! You are actually wearing a color besides black & you know what...? Color does look strikingly good on you (and make you look younger, too!) As for PMS, I found the best $5 cure - it is YOGI Women's Moon Cycle Tea and boyohboy, does it work! YOGI also has 58 other tea remedies in their line to help cure whatever ails you from sore throats, to queasy stomach, to needing more energy to the dredded "M" word...

slacker-chick said...

Thanks for clarifying - I read it as "Arab guys in "thongs"" at first. But maybe they wouldn't hate us so much if they could walk around in thongs? Hmmmm

And I have GOT to hear your "Beer drinkers Guide to Yoga" HA!

the letters i wish i'd written said...

I love getting older, it's proof I'm still alive, whoop whoop!

AmyK said...

When it comes to age I always have to quote my favorite woman, Cher. "I've been 40 and I've been 50. 40 is better." And now she is 60 something. I just had a 59th Birthday this month. Yay, I'm still here. I do have aches and pains periodically but bascially I'm good. But I too, will not complain about age. I want to be a real old woman.... that wears purple and doesn't care what people think. God Bless the Red Hatters. And, God Bless Maxine.

R. Jacob said...

Being slightly older than you, I want to say you have not lost a thing, way ahead of many younger in age but not in wisdom and beauty!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

When you hit the 50's I think your aging slows down and your beauty speeds up. You look like a youngster and so does your friend and of course your sweetheart! Hard to believe that you are all 51.

classicrockforthesoul said...

Okay Linda, it's official. If I can look half as good as you do when I'm your age, then I will be considered blessed.
You look amazing!

I'm going to leave you with some wise words from my girl crush, La Nicks:
"Time makes you bolder, children get older, and I'm getting older too..."

:)

Fragrant Liar said...

Oh, Linda, I totally agree. Good posture and smiles are part of a self-confident attitude. They're kind of like mega vitamins, not only for the outside of you but the inside too. It's about a healthy frame of mind and body.

And as an aside, that attitude is the secret to healthy flirting. As I'm sure you know. :)

Julie said...

I can verify this woman has NO weight problem, and evidently the desert is being good to her because in person she looks freakin 35.

Screw it, I'm movin in. Get my room ready.

The Peach Tart said...

For me, I think it comes down to growing into and being comfortable in your own skin.

You are looking absolutely marvelous.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Oh, thanks, everyone... and Anon, I only look like I'm not wearing black--I can guarantee that at any given time, I'm wearing a black (push-up, padded, Victoria Secret-engineered) bra. Kind of like a black security blanket.

ModernMom said...

Great advice...
:)
Maybe I'll start with a yga video!

drewzepmeister said...

I love your optimism of gracefully! Hopefully I'll be doing the same.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

I am really pissed. Once again I thought you were on some sort of hiatus because bloglines was not telling me you posted. It does that to a few of my fave blogs. I am going to reinstall you right now and come back and read this post. :)

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

You are right....51 looks damn good and check you out in that short dress showing off your legs, love it!

I'll be 50 in 2 months so I am right behind you. I envy you for several things: your weight, your lack of having to endure all the annoying female things! I'm having PMS AND hot flashes at the same flippin time!

But I also dont' have one stinkin (noticeable) wrinkle and pass for 40 easily. My beauty secret: Avoid the sun and wear SUNSCREEN every single day no matter what. Also drink lots of water and have lots of sex.

I wish I could follow my own advice on that last thing :(

Anonymous said...

Yeah, thanks we get it! Please stop showing & talking about your underwear, MadonnaGranny!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

@ Anonymous: Remember, you don't have to come to my site five times a day. Or at all.

Suzanne said...

You rock my socks Vegas. I laugh to tears. At 5 feet tall you would think a priority would be to stand up straight right? Can't seem to do it, I slouch. Tried Yoga (hate it, shhhhhhhh) Tried visualizing the string on the top of my head.... nothing works. Any tips for a lady who aspires to be you?

Vegas Linda Lou said...

@ Suzanne: Yes. Aim higher.

Suzanne said...

No way Ms. Cool. I am taking lessons. ;)

The Peach Tart said...

You have A MAJOR AWARD to pick up on my site.

Other Mikey's Julie said...

I am with Chocolate on this - I have changed a lot in say the 21 years since I graduated from high school, but when I run into parents of my friends it seems like I am catching up to them - they have not changed much at all! And if nothing else it gives me another reason to look forward to aging - my beauty will speed up at 50! Thanks Chocolate!