You’ve heard me complain about a lot of things over the past year. My hair, my weight, Mormons, cancer, work, Twitter, feminism… the list is endless. But there are a few things you've never heard me complain about.
One is the Las Vegas weather. So what if it’s 110 degrees? I just think of Albany in January and thank God I’m not freezing my ass off. Plus, the heat keeps me thin. I have to look good in my collection of sleazy little Ross Dress-for-Less tops, so I can’t let myself pork up. And it really is the humidity.
Another thing I never complain about is men. I love them and appreciate them and am thankful for the differences between us. Even Bastard Husband was awesome in his way—I adored him. The only men I’m not so sure about are those Arab guys you see on TV, usually in throngs. Safe to say, it would take them a while to warm up to me. And I said “throngs,” not “thongs.” Eew.
And I never, ever complain about getting older, which is pretty surprising, especially considering how freakin’ vain I am. You never hear me say stuff like, “Weh, I’m getting so old” or “Weh, I’m losing my looks.” When I complain about my looks (which is a stupid thing to do), it’s all about my weight, which is also stupid because in real life I don’t even have a weight problem; I’m just not as thin as I used to be. Weh.
But I have no wrinkles worth fretting over (or maybe I just don’t see them) and fortunately, I have no aches or pains that I hear some people my age go on about. And even at 51, I have yet to experience a hot flash—knock on wood. I somehow escaped PMS, morning sickness, and all the other fun female events, so I'm hoping the big M passes by unnoticed. It's possible.
That's a long way off for most of you. I don’t know for sure, but I get the feeling about 95 percent of my readers are younger than I am, and I’d guess about two-thirds are more than a decade younger. A good portion of my friends here in Vegas are in their thirties—barely older than my kids. Some are younger. I know they look up to me (God help them) and I think it’s important to let them--and you--know that aging doesn’t have to be a drag.
Check out this picture of me and my friend Lisa, taken on the 4th of July. We're almost exactly the same age--just two weeks apart. Kids, this is what 51 looks like! See what you have to look forward to?
(I know, you love Lisa's blouse, huh?) Ha! Granny and Nana gone wild...
And look at this handsome devil I'm with. He's also 51, and he looks like a friggin' GQ model. Damn, I'm a lucky girl! But my point is, guys can look great as they age, too.
I believe there are two things secrets to aging gracefully, and I’m about to offer the same advice I gave last Saturday after my rant about eyelash-thickening Latisse:
1. Stand up straight.
Stand up straight--simple! I’ve talked before about the importance of good posture; the way you carry yourself has everything to do with the way people perceive you. Want to be treated well? Don’t walk around like a schlub. The easiest way to improve your posture—and your entire life—is to start doing yoga. Don’t assume it’s only for those annoying super-spiritual types. If you’ve always wondered about yoga and would like to give it a try, listen to our Aging Nymphs show, “The Beer Drinkers Guide to Yoga.” Just click the show title in the right sidebar of this site.
And what could be easier than smiling? So do it now! Go out there and have FUN!
So have I convinced you that aging is nothing to fear?
Do you have any secrets you'd like to share?