I’ll come right out and say it: I’m sick of learning shit.
Every new purchase—whether it’s a TV, cell phone, or coffee maker—comes with a 100-page user’s manual. No more simply plugging stuff in and turning it on. Part of the reason I don’t buy anything is because I dread the accompanying learning curve; it’s not good for my blood pressure. I have all the patience in the world for people, but I could take a friggin’ hammer to a machine that doesn’t do what I want it to do.
I don’t know about you, but I am really starting to feel overwhelmed by technology. For a while I’ve been shamed into transitioning to Gmail from AOL (which I was perfectly happy with). “You’re still on AOL? You have to switch to Gmail.” So I gave in and now I have to learn the in’s and out’s of Gmail. Tuesday night it took me a good hour and a half to figure out how to send a mailing out to all the contacts on my mailing list, a task I could have accomplished in 10 minutes using AOL. And the worst part is, no sooner will I get Gmail down and I’ll be hearing, “You’re still on Gmail? That was so 2009.”
MySpace is out, Facebook is in. For now. You have to be on Twitter, you must be on Twitter. Well, guess what? Twitter can kiss my ass. I don’t give a crap that your bagel was delicious or that it’s raining again. You know scones, those overpriced bakery items that are supposed to be so cool they even sell them at Starbucks? Well, scones are shit; they taste like friggin’ dust. Totally overrated.
Twitter is just as overrated; it's the scone of technology. I'm not afraid to say the emperor’s naked: Twitter is a load of shit, for the most part, anyway. And “tweeting” sounds gay.
As a technical writer in a technology company (surprised?), I’m constantly learning in order to do my job. I don’t mind that; it’s to be expected. But I don’t appreciate having to learn technology so I can do other people’s jobs. In the course of a day, I can perform the duties of a grocery store clerk, bank teller, postal clerk, airline check-in clerk… Not to sound snobby (and I truly don’t mean to come across that way--those are all noble professions), but in high school we were advised to go to college so we wouldn't have to do those jobs.
Because I’m self-publishing my book, I have a ton to learn. There’s new software to understand, and now that I have my own publishing company, there are the nuts and bolts of setting up and maintaining a business. I also need to create a website I can sell books from and figure out how to get the thing in e-book and Kindle formats. I’ll also want to create an audio version. I don’t minding learning that stuff—that’s all aligned with my goal of getting my book out to you. But even so, I just want to learn it once and be done with it. Don't tell me the software I just spent two weeks learning is now antiquated.
I sound old, don’t I? I don’t care (as long as I don’t look old).
But what about you? Is technology making you mental? Are you sick of learning shit, too?