So you know how I’m all full of myself, posting photos taken at just the right angles that hide the middle age spread and crow’s feet and make me look all slender and attractive? And you know how I’m always spoutin’ off about how if you just stand up straight and smile, women at any age can be forever hot and sexy because hot and sexy comes from within?
Yeah, well, here’s something hot and sexy: I’m going to be a granny. Again.
Yep, Courtney and John are having a hippie baby. She wasn’t knocked up for the wedding, but she sure is now. (All you new readers: click here for the scoop on my daughter, Courtney. She’s a trip and a half—scroll down to the end for the biggest laugh.)
This is gonna be the tallest, whitest kid ever. Court’s 5’10” and paler than Nicole Kidman; John’s about 6”2” and is a redhead. Oh, but it’ll be so cute! I raided Courtney’s Facebook pictures again—look at these two. Aren’t they adorable?
Oh, man, I’m so excited! The baby’s due date is April 17, which means I have almost eight months to figure out how I can spend next summer in Albany. A contract training gig in upstate New York for the summer? A virtual tech writing job that would allow me to work from anywhere? Or maybe if I sell enough copies of that fabulous Bastard Husband: A Love Story, I’ll just take the summer off and continue to promote my book in the Northeast. The possibilities are endless!
It’s funny, I’ve been saying that I’d like to spend a summer in Albany. I absolutely love living in Las Vegas—I so dig it here—and there’s no way I’d want to move back to Albany for good because the winters make me mental, but it’s a fabulous place in the summer. There are so many music and art festivals and the Saratoga Racetrack… and my babies are there.
I miss them! Courtney and I gab all the time, but my son Christopher isn’t much of a phone talker—you have to see him in person to appreciate him. I just love being around him; he’s such a sweet and gentle soul. I'm not kidding, he's the nicest person on earth. Can’t you tell from this picture?
And of course, I miss my precious grandson and big brother to-be, Connor. He’s 10 and it would be so nice to hang out with him for a summer.
Plus, I’d be able to watch my kids play their music, which is my favorite thing to do on earth. (I bet Courtney will be playing out to the end and will return to the stage soon after the baby is born.) And Albany also has a vibrant comedy scene—that would give me incentive to get back into stand-up.
But best of all--I'll have a cute new baby to play with! I have to make this work!
And so the whole picture suddenly changes... Just a few weeks ago, the boyfriend and I were making long-term plans—talk about a narrow escape. Now I’m formulating my exit strategy. See? The universe unfolds in divine order. Have no doubt!