Saturday, June 26, 2010

Tom Cruise, you would still turn me gay but jumping on Oprah's couch is not a crime

In my book I talk about the little games my friends and I used to play to get through a work day at GE. We had our "ghoul pool" of celebrities we thought were knockin' on heaven's door, our "If you had to be gay with any celebrity, who would you choose?" question (hello, Beverly d'Angelo!), and our "Which supposedly hot celebrity would, in fact, turn you gay?" question. I know--not extremely mature behavior for a bunch of people with masters degrees.

Anyway, the celebrity who would turn me gay (not that there's anything wrong with it) is Tom Cruise. Eeew--I find him repulsive. So. not. my. type. Give me Denis "Handcuffs and Whipped Cream" Leary, that skinny-ass genius Billy Bob Thornton, or an intelligent hunk of Philip Seymour Hoffman anytime!

So the other day I heard a piece on NPR about Tom Cruise's new movie and his apparent fall from grace in Hollywood. Yes, the Scientology thing is just plain icky (I'm in total denial about John Travolta's affiliation) and I think he really was an asshole to Brooke Shields and Matt Lauer.

But then there's Oprah's couch...

That's the part I find baffling. Is it just me or was that whole thing blown way out of proportion? I'm reminded of Howard Dean's infamous scream from his concession speech after the 2004 Iowa caucus as he tried to fire up his supporters (the media never showed us the thousands of people in the room cheering and waving flags).

So Tom Cruise jumped on a couch while expressing his passion for the woman he loved--isn't that a good thing? Wouldn't you LOVE to have someone so freakin' enamored with you? (I mean, as long as you felt the same way. Otherwise, yeah, that would be... uncomfortable.)

Kobe Bryant is a basketball hero as if those rape charges ever happened (personally, I believed his young accuser) and Clarence Thomas continues to sit on the Supreme Court (every cell in my body says Anita Hill was no liar), but Tom Cruise jumps on a couch professing his love and sends his career to the shitter?

That's messed up, people.

What do you think?


J said...

Let's get Nancy Grace and Tom Cruise a that a panic room type thing and weld that thing shut so that future generations may enjoy the wackiness that is those two.

Barbara said...

I agree with you 100% (although I don't have the hots for Bev like you do and although I think Tom is a jerk in many ways, part of me will always think he's cute).

BUT DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON KOBE BRYANT. It makes me ILL because I know for a fact that he did rape that girl. A good friend of mine is friends with her family so I heard the truth. I tell this to my Kobe Loving Laker Fan Friends and they roll their eyes like I'm full of shit. Its appalling to me on so many levels. I am upset just thinking about him living his life in fame while her life was fucked because of him (no pun intended).

Anonymous said...

Michael Jackson was a degenerate drug addict / pedofile.

The world is fortunate to be well rid of that dirtball.

Kobe? The rapist that got away with it.

bruce said...

I think it's not so much the jumping on couch by itself, but rather the couch-jumping is yet more evidence the man is bat-shit crazy, and not the fun kind of bat-shit crazy either. He's a Scientologist, for Pete's sake.