Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Talking about M-o-m-m-y and don't you dare put down Madonna

 Did you happen to see the comment my sister Lori left on Saturday's post about my mother falling off her Sketchers?
"I love my new Tone Ups slippers and sneakers! You haven't steered me wrong yet!!! Maybe Mommy tried to skip in them!!!"
Okay, two things.  One, my mother recently discovered that she is no longer able to skip.  You might wonder, "How on earth does one come to that realization?  Does it one day hit you, 'Hey, I haven't skipped in a while... I wonder if I still have it in me?'"

Well, in her case, she learned this sad fact while playing with Stepdaddy's grandchildren; she is no longer able to skip.  Not that she doesn't make the effort.  And can I tell you there is nothing, nothing funnier than watching her try to skip?  Her shoulders go up, her hand go up, but her body stays planted on the ground.  I wish I could make a video, but she'd kill me and the truth is, I'm still afraid of her.  She's not quite to the point where we can threaten to put her in a home if she acts up.  At any rate, I'm quite sure that my mother skipping in Sketchers would be certain death.

The second thing--WTF was my sister thinking by telling the world that we still call her MOMMY???  Jesus H, we're in our fifties!  That's pretty queer, but we can't be the only grown adults who refer to their mother as Mommy.

Um, do you?

My father used to tell a story that took place when he was probably in his late thirties.  He was standing in line at the bank with my grandfather, who turned to him and said something like, "Have you talked to Mommy today?" (Insert the sound of falling levels of testosterone...)

Changing topics...

I'm surprised at how nasty some of the posts on Facebook have been about Madonna's halftime performance. Not from my real friends--you know how you accumulate those Facebook friends that you don't really know?  To them I say... what exactly is your talent again?    

Fifty-three and gorgeous!
 You try to sing and dance in uber-heels on friggin' bleachers live in front of 113 million people.  (Jesus H, I'm ready to puke before telling a few people some jokes in the back room of a dive bar.)

And P.S.:  See me when you turn 53.  I can imagine what you'll look like at that age. 

Oh, and by the way, Madonna was a motherless child, you friggin' douche bags.  Her mother died when she was 6.  I'd say she does all right for herself.


R. Jacob said...

She did look good and sounded good. Until I found out she lip synced to her songs. But yes she looked great.

JustVinoMomTime said...

She did good for her age, wait nope that's not true...she did good REGARDLESS of her age. I couldn't do it at any age so more power to the woman.
Oh and 90% of performances you see, concerts, performances, tv- live, are lip synced. It's what they do so they can "perform" better since "we" prefer they dazzle us with dances and craziness and not their voice. I'm always amused when someone finds out there was lip-synching and thinking it's never happened before!

Debbie said...

Oh no ... I wonder if I can still skip? (note to self) ...

P.S. I LOVE YOU LINDA LOU but I can't stand Madonna. She's always seemed mean to me. Yeah she looks great and all, but please, we would too with her money, resources, and narcissism. I liked the first part of her half time show, the Cleopatra entrance ... the rest, was ok. And notice how she had to peform with today's hot, hip, relevant talent ... wonder why that was? I'm just being a hater.

I LOVED when PRINCE did the superbowl halftime. Now that is a mean I'd jump on in a hot minute. Sexier than hell! YOWZA.

R. Jacob said...


I am glad I amused you. Really? 90%
That is so interesting.

Julie said...

If I had Madonna's money I'd look that good too!

Anonymous said...

Anybody remember the Bruce Springsteen halftime show from a year or two ago? I'm sure that was not lip synced and the guy was amazing for sixty-something at the time.

BC Angel

Anonymous said...

I've already played the Madonna Half Time Show at least 20 times by now! Was lucky enough to catch her "Reinvention Tour " & even better.."Confessions on a Dance Floor Tour" both at MGM Grand Garden Arena.
She came...she conquered the Superbowl like she did Rome a la Liz Taylor!

drewzepmeister said...

Not a Madonna fan, yet I thought she looked great and danced well for a lady her age. It was British singer M.I.A. that stirred controversy over flipping the bird during the halftime show.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

I go back and forth on Madonna. I have a lot of respect for her, though I have to admit when you see her on talk shows she doesn't come across as a particularly nice person.

Some of the Facebook posts I've seen were really mean spirited. She doesn't deserve that.

About the lip-synching... that goes back to the days of American Bandstand. Sometimes you kind of expect it--like during the Superbowl. Other times--like during Saturday Night Live--you expect it to be, um, live. Madonna's no Ashley Simpson.

Anonymous said...

I like this blog and much of your work, but I just wanted to mention that there are some people (like me) who get uncomfortable when the Lord's name is used inappropriately.... and it seems lately that is happening more and more here. Just something to consider.