Saturday, February 25, 2012

Life with an ADD spouse

I have a mailbox back in my old Linda Land neighborhood that I don't get to very often, especially since I've been working regular full-time hours on the way, way other side of town.  So recently I asked my beloved husband, who does not work regular full-time hours, to pick up my mail for me.

"No problem," he said.  He's over there all the time anyway.

"Here's the key," I said.  "It's mailbox 256.  Are you going to remember that?" 
When you're dealing with someone with ADD, you do what you can to make sure they won't forget.  Because they will. 

"Of course I'll remember.  That's two to the eighth power." 

Yes, of course. 

The next day...
Me:  "Did you get my mail?"
Mike:  "I did, but I got there too late and they already closed."
Me:  "So you didn't get my mail.  That's okay."
 The next day...
Me:  "Did you get my mail?"
Mike:  "I did, but I forgot the key."
Me:  "So you didn't get my mail.  That's okay.  Do you remember the mailbox number?"
Mike:  "Of course.  It's 256.  That's two to the eighth power."
 Yes, of course.

The next day...
Me:  "Did you get my mail?"
Mike:  "No, I completely forgot to go over there."
Me:  "That's okay." 
The next day...
Me:  "Did you get my mail?"
Mike:  "Yes!  It's there on the counter."
Me (nearly dying of shock):  "Thank you, honey!"
Mike:  "Yeah, I didn't have your key, but I talked the guy into giving me your mail."
Me:  "Huh?  Where's my key?"
Mike:  "I don't know."
Me:  "But you do know my mailbox number is..."
Mike:  "Two-five-six.  That's two to the..."
Me (figuring that key will cost me about $75 to replace):  "Eighth power."   
The next day...
Mike:  "Hey, I found the key to your mailbox."
Me:  "You did?  Where was it?"
Mike:  "At the bottom of the hamper."
 Of course.


Bar L. said...

I dated a guy with ADD, it takes a lot of patience. Mike is worth if times 100 to the tenth degree.

Mellodee said...

Linda, Let me tell you how the same scenario would go in my house! My husband has no ADD (or anything else to impair his function.)

First Day:

Me: (After explaining my request…) So, do you think you could get my mail?
Him: Sure. Not a problem.

Second Day:

Me: Did you get my mail?
Him: Oh no! Sorry honey, I forgot. I’ll get it tomorrow.
Me: Ok, thanks.

Third Day:

Me: Did you get my mail?
Him: Awww, gee no. I didn’t get over that way today. I’ll go tomorrow.
Me: Ok, thanks.

Sixth Day (Can’t ask him every day, cause that’s “nagging”)

Me: Hey, have you had a chance to get my mail?
Him: What mail?
Me: Sigh. (Re-explain request.)
Him: Oh yeah. I’ll go tomorrow.
Me: Good!

Tenth Day:

Him: Hey guess what, I finally remembered to go get your mail!
Me: Really? Where is it?
Him: Turns out going wasn’t all that important anyway. The box was empty.
Me: Yeah I know. I went over the day before yesterday and got it.
Him: Now why did you go and do that, you knew I was going to get it?
Me: Uh huh. Can I have my key back, please?
Him: Uhhhh….just a minute….(patting pockets, searching car, swearing a bit)….uhhhh, honey? I think I might have left the key in the box.
Me: Oh you’re kidding me! Why would you put the key inside the mail box????
Him: I didn’t! That would be really dumb!...... I think I might have left it hanging in the lock.
Me: (Running out into the night screaming!!!) AAAAAArrrrrrrgggghhhh!!!

Would you like to trade?? LOL! :)

Dangerous Linda said...

i can't imagine the circumstances under which i would ask my BF to get my mail and subject myself to this torture -- haha!

Tender Heart Bear said...

Believe me I do know what you are going through. My boyfriend has ADD too. It takes a lot of patients. If I want him to pick something up after work I always text him before he gets off of work to make sure he don't forget. He always checks his phone when he gets off of work. It is hard but I love him very much.

Julie D said...

Sweetie, I don't think this is an ADD problem.

I'm pretty sure this is a penis issue.

Unknown said...

Sounds lie ADD to me... what was the question again?

Debbie said...

Told brilliantly LOL! I'm still laughing you crazy broad!