Tuesday, November 10, 2009

When you’re laughing your ass off, nobody cares how big it is

One of my dearest friends turns 51 tomorrow. I met Kathy in 1976 during her freshman year (my sophomore year) when we were students at the State University of New York at Plattsburgh and since then we’ve had a million beers and as many laughs together. You know how some people get after they get married, have kids, and work a professional-level job--all boring and grown up? Not Kathy. She’s a friggin’ blast.

Over the years, we’ve taken countless “girls’ trips” to places like Lake Placid, Montreal, Newport, Burlington, New Orleans, Las Vegas, to name a few. On our last trip we spent a fabulous weekend in Sedona with our fellow Plattsburgh friend, Maggie.

One of my all-time favorite things to do is to drink beer and shoot pool with Kathy in a dive bar with a great classic rock band, and that’s exactly what we did when we raised hell in the biker bar last year at the Connor Hotel in Jerome, AZ. I can picture her now, grinning broadly with her eyes closed, playing air drums (not air guitar like most people). Goddamn! Just having that image in my mind makes me so very happy! We had so much fun, laughing our asses off. You know how sometimes you have those “life-gasmic” moments when you could simply burst with joy?

Kathy is so freakin' awesome and she's the most loyal friend on earth. But oh, I didn’t tell you... Kathy is overweight. I'm sure that's what the charts would say.

But it doesn’t matter.

I'll say it again: it doesn’t f*cking matter. The whole goddamn universe is overweight. My mother, my sisters, three-quarters of my BFFs... So what?

When you’re laughing your ass off, nobody cares how big it is.

One of my favorite friends at work has lost 80 pounds over the past year. I’m thrilled that no doubt she’s at a healthier weight and she must be enjoying quite a boost to her self-esteem, but seriously, I can’t say her sarcasm is more entertaining or her smile more endearing since the weight’s been off. Everything I adore about her now was there a year ago, too; she hasn’t suddenly become a more worthwhile or valuable person.

I’m telling myself this as much as I’m telling you. I'm not even overweight and I bitch about it. And God knows I’ve wasted half my life fretting over my fine, thin, shitty hair. But seriously, do you think any of my beloved friends loves me an iota less because of it? It’s a pretty safe bet that no one at my wake is going to say, “Linda would have been so much more awesome if it weren’t for that crap on her head.”

Let’s stop this, huh? Let’s stop being so hard on ourselves; let’s not treat every goddamn imperfection like it’s the end of the world. Nobody cares. It doesn’t matter.

Although Jesus H, can you imagine if I actually had beautiful, long hair? Can you imagine how full of myself I’d be then?

And BTW, Kathy has gorgeous thick hair.

Happy Birthday, Katter!


Julie D said...

Oh no, I am much funnier 35 lbs thinner.

OK I lied, I wasn't all that amusing to begin with. Now I'm just unfunny with cheekbones.

Happy birthday, Kathy!!!

Bar L. said...

I wish what you said was a universal truth, but it does matter to most men and a lot of women too. Especially here in OC, CA. The average person here is perfectly fit and trim and enhanced with botox, boobs, etc. etc. - male and female (well males don't get the boobs).

I have to move out of state, or at least of my area, if I want to meet a guy who will appreciate me for ME and not my body size.

I am tired of people saying I have a pretty face because most men don't look at your face, they look at your bod first. And overweight people are also discriminated against in the job market. I envy your friend if she's overweight and doesn't let it get her down. I seriously am going to move out of "perfect body land" so I can feel more normal but I can't move yet...

Bar L. said...

my last comment was so negative and its BS. Men love me, I am fairly irresistible I need to quit talking and thinking so negatively.

Unknown said...

Amen! Linda Lou, I adore what you said. I am live in an area like Barbara and it's a shame that overweight people are so easily discriminated against. When I went to NC, I was so amazed that people came in many sizes and shapes. I look at the insides and not the outside and I'm not just saying that.

I hope your friend has a day filled with laughing on her birthday.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Julie, you're a riot at any weight, and Barbara, you are irresistible!

And you have a good point, which Chocolate Covered Girlfriend reinforces, that some areas of the country are much more superficial than others. I can't imagine living in L.A.!

The Peach Tart said...

Great post Linda Lou. I find myself being so hard on myself about my neck, belly, wrinkle here and there and its such a waste of time and energy. Mostly I try to just live my life to its fullest and have fun. Someday I'm coming to Vegas and party with you because you get it.

Elizabeth Patch said...

"When you’re laughing your ass off, nobody cares how big it is." oh how I wish I had written that! And even if someone DOES care, so what? all that time wasted talking/worrying/obsessing about size when we could be living life, fully and completely...How many of the 6 billion people in the world actually care what size jeans you wear? and do you think anyone will talk about your butt at your funeral? But they will remember all the joy you brought to your friends.
great post!

classicrockforthesoul said...

"Let's not treat every goddamn imperfecion like it's the end of the world. Nobody cares. It doesn't matter."

Forget Aristotle and Plato.
I get all the philosophy I need from my YOU, my fairy godmother! :)

Stephanie said...

I think some of your best quotes are in this post!! Love it. I too have wasted too much time worrying about ridiculous imperfections. Life is too short!