Saturday, August 15, 2009

Guest blogger: my sister Lori Biker

I have a treat for you today--a guest blogger, my Harley-ridin' sister Lori. As I've mentioned, Lori is a freakin' blast to hang out with and is the funniest person I know. I always tell my friends who haven't met her yet that if they think I'm so funny and outgoing, wait till they meet her. Hey, here she is with Steve Martin--how funny is that???

And so, I give you... Lori Biker!

"I Don’t Retain Anything But Water"

I am in Las Vegas right now with my husband Russ, celebrating our 20th anniversary. We, of course, are staying with my sister. Wouldn’t we want to be alone at this special time? No! Who would want to be alone when they could be with Linda Lou?

Russ tells me the last time we stayed here, just the two of us without the kids, was when we flew here, stayed a night, and then drove Linda to Palm Springs for a comedy conference. Russ was her driver and I was her assistant. It was a blast. Linda told me what year that was, but I forget. Whenever I think of that trip, I immediately remember the reception they had one night for all the comics and their guests. We all stood around talking and at one point Russ turned to throw his cup away. In his peripheral vision he saw what he thought was a trash can but then he realized he was about to throw his cup away on a midget! There he was, cup-to-face with a midget, dwarf, little person--I don’t recall which term is the politically correct one. My point is, we did and saw so many things that trip, and this is the first thing I think of?

It’s funny the stories you remember from things you do. There are so many things that don’t get room in your memory bank at all. There is no way you could remember everything you saw, did or said. Some memories are in the back somewhere and can be pulled up with some work and others are right there up front. There are parts of my screwed-up life that I would like to kick out of my memory to make room for those times when I say, “I hope I never forget this!”

Remember in school, right after the test, all material is forgotten? I still do it as an adult. I have taken CPR at work many times. Each time I learn it, practice it, get tested on it and feel confident. Then I walk out of the room and it is like I walk through a mind eraser. How many blows? How many thrusts? I get a card that says I am certified in CPR but, man, I hope I am with somebody like Russ if anyone ever needs it. He remembers everything!

I wonder why some people remember so much and others don’t? My niece Courtney claims to have memories from when she was almost a baby! It seems they are true memories too, not just memories she has created from hearing stories. There are times when I am not sure if I was really somewhere or if I just heard the story and now I think I was there. Is it really a memory of mine or do I just remember the story?

Sometimes people remember the same things differently than others. Really though, if two people experience the same event or interaction, chances are they will walk away with two stories of what happened. I guess that is interpretation rather than memory. They have done episodes about this on The Brady Bunch, The Odd Couple and other sitcoms.

I hate when people ask me to tell someone a story because I tell stories so well, then as I tell it as I remember it, they correct me the whole way. We were in Las Vegas, no it was in New Orleans, and our bags didn’t make it out of Charlotte, no it was Philly… I guess I don’t tell the story so well! Really, I don’t remember the story in detail, just the gist of it. I went somewhere and my bags didn’t.

Yes, I do remember many wonderful things, like spending time with people I love, especially those who are no longer with me, getting married 20 years ago, and watching my kids grow up. But here is a story that just happened today. Russ and I went to the Fiesta casino to play the slots. I play the penny slots, sometimes the nickels, if I am winning. I almost lost a bunch of money, all relative, and then I won a big bonus and won it all back! I was so psyched. I walked right from that machine over to Russ and told him my exciting story. He asked me what machine I was playing… I sat at that machine for over 30 minutes and felt an intimate connection with it. I pleaded with it, caressed it and thanked it. But I had no clue of anything about it now. I told Russ I couldn’t remember. He just gave me “that look.” He’s been married to me for 20 years now, he knows how I am. I don’t retain anything but water!


Lisa Gioia-Acres said...

Welcome to the blog, Lori. Glad you are with our girl now!

I know what you mean about selective memeories. Friends and family will say, "do you remember when..." and I'll have absolutely no recollection of the event they are talking about, and they claim I was there!

Enjoy your stay.

slacker-chick said...

I hear ya - my mom can never die because she remembers EVERYTHING about my sis and I and we depend on her to keep the info for when and if we need it. (She usually tells us whether we want to hear it or not!) :)

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Hi Sis!

I think I can relate to what you said in this post but I'm not sure cause I don't remember what it was about.

I do know that Linda Lou has got to be the funnest sister on earth! Have fun!

(Hey Linda, this reminds me, do you know a comedian by the name of Russ Stubnik or something like that?"

Gail said...

I see the humor runs in the family. Have a great visit!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Are you the sis that was the guest on Linda Lou's show a few months ago? I thought that you both were so funny and sweet at the same time. I loved the bantering back and forth. Enjoy your stay and hope you win lots and lots of money!

Julie said...

Hi Lori! Your sister clearly has a retaining issue because she often thinks I'm one of the funniest women on the planet too! I just think the desert heat has gotten to her well coifed head. Give sis a big hug for me, and tell her I'll see her in 26 days. Meanwhile, if you ever want to guest blog for me, come on over! My readers would love to actually be entertained for once!!!!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Thanks for your support for Lori. I'm trying to talk her into starting her own blog. She's an interesting person, if you only knew!

@ Barbara: No, I don't know any comics by that name. Is he a Vegas guy?

@ Chocolate Covered girlfriend: Yep, Lori is my Aging Nymphs cohost. We have fun doing our show (and everything else) together! The only problem is, people can't tell our voices apart.

Hurricane Mikey said...

Interesting take on memory. I'm usually pretty good about everything except names. Seriously--I'm the worst at remembering people's names.

But I'll always remember Lori Biker, if only because of the frog-borne hepatitis.

(Don't believe her, she tells a good story...)

DebraLSchubert said...

My memory is fading with each passing day. Sometimes I feel like I'm 90 years old. I had a great memory when I was a kid. Maybe I shouldn't have partied so much in my teens and twenties...!

It's good to "see" you, Lori. I hope you and Linda will make it back to Philly one of these days so we can eat at the Cheesecake Factory together again!

Danica said...

LOL welcome to the blog world Lori! Happy Anniversary..enjoy your stay!

Lori Biker said...

Thank you to everyone for your support with my debut guest blog! I really enjoyed writing it. I have been taking time to write a little more now and hopefully soon Linda Lou will help me get my own blog going! For now, I will keep reading some of your blogs to help me learn how it is done! Thanks again!

Other Mikey's Julie said...

And nobody said "Holy Crap - Steve Martin!?!?!?" How is it you came to be photographed with one of the funniest most bizarre minds in entertainment? I think he has been one of my favorite comedians since I was a kid watching Saturday Night Live. Tell the truth Lori - was he stand-offish and annoyed or gracious?

I really enjoy your writing style - I hope you start your own blog.

Lori Biker said...

Hi Other Mikey's Julie! He was both stand-offish and gracious. He was at Martin Mull's art opening and didn't want to take the spot light from him so he was a bit stand-offish. But he was gracious in that he did pose for the picture. I quickly thanked him and moved on. I felt badly that Linda Lou was the photographer and wan't able to get in the picture. It is Linda, again, who is the most gracious!

Anonymous said...

i'm gonna make my own post about it