Thursday, February 3, 2011

How am I looking? And another Linda Lou rant

What do you make of the "Hi, I'm Linda" photo of me at right?  Mike took it in Sedona last weekend and he really likes it, but quite honestly, I don't think it looks like me.  I look mean.  Or bitchy. On the plus side, my hair looks awesome (for me) and my boobs look huge even though I'm not all rigged up with Victoria Secret bra technology.  Which is probably why Mike likes it. 

Earlier this week, I had my passport renewal photo taken, and this is what I think is a more accurate representation of your friend Linda Lou.  Unfortunately, the sagging jawline is much more noticeable and God only knows what's going on with all the tendons and crap in my neck.  Seriously.  But my face looks more like me.  I think.

One of the photos of myself that I simply won't let die is my tiara picture.  This was taken on my 50th birthday, so it's a good three years old, but it's fun and dammit, I'm printing up another batch of business cards with it on them.  Mike says that picture doesn't look like me.  What do you think?

Oh, who really gives a crap.

Let me ask your opinion about something else.  I posted this on Facebook a couple of weeks ago, but I'm not done bitching about it.   Is it just me or are you also ready to puke when you see these kids with those giant, stretched out holes in their ears?  If I were queen--and I have the tiara--it would be against the law for anyone with those ears to serve food.  Who can eat after looking at that?

There's a beautiful and super-friendly girl who waits on me at the Starbucks near my house.  She's adorable, but she has holes in her ears the size of quarters.  Why, why would anyone do that to themselves? If my daughter did that I'd be like, stick a knife in my heart, why don't you? That's self-mutilation--something the Nazis would do. 

And I'm seeing it more and more--the kid in CVS... the guy behind the counter at T-Mobile (I had to buy a new battery for the piece-o-shit brick I want to sell on Craigslist.)   Whatever--I'm grossed out at every turn!  Exactly who in these companies makes the decision to hire these freaks?  Oh, yeah, this guy should totally be on our front line working with the public... let's have that girl serve food. OMFG.

And I have the nerve to wonder about my looks.  The only thing big about me is my boobs in the photo at right.

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT!

Oh, what would I do if I didn't have something to rant about?  Speaking of, you'll have to wait until next Thursday to hear my solution to the Black Ops game.

In the meantime, got anything you want to bitch about?  I'm all ears.  D'oh.

16 comments:

R. Jacob said...

I would use the current look on your cards.
and your, uh you know... they do look bigger!

dle said...

I do not know why wnayone would do that to their ears either...it is just plain disgusting!!! As for the picture...you look a little bitchy....I think a tiara makes every picture perfect !!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Hahaha! I love your honesty. The funniest thing is, I start out by saying I'm afraid I look bitchy in that photo and then all I do for the remainder of the post is bitch.

Julie said...

Love the passport photo...it's you. And the tiara one. Not a fan of the one on the right though. Your boobs look fantastic but you look like you have cramps. LOLOLOL

LOVE your hair longer though.

Debbie said...

I HATE the way I photograph. Once, when I as young, I photographed BEAUTIFULLY. Now, ugh. And yes, I hate those freaking holes. What are these kids gonna look like when they're 50? And the piercings!! I once saw a kid with a spike coming out from under his lower lip. I asked him, ...so ... how do you kiss your girlfriend with that thing? He just smiled. Prolley thought I was just an ol lady with an attitude.

LOVE YOU LINDA!

XOXO

Deb

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you about the ear plugs - gross, self-mutilation!

Same for those boys with their pants hanging down!

I haven't seen any men I find attractive these days in such a looooooong time!

What is up with that shaved head + goatee/pubic hair tuft + piercing on lip combo? Do they really think women find this attractive? About 80% of men these days seemed to have adopted this "look." Sleeved tattoos up to their elbows - yuckky!

Sadly, I think WE ARE THE FREAKS in society these days - not the other way around!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Don't even get me going on the piercings. That's another person who doesn't need to serve me food.

I know what you mean about the hipsters, too. Not. my. type.

Anonymous said...

PS: Regarding your previous post about saving money...

My husband recently purchased $1.50 & $1.65 for 2 IPhone chargers on ebay (includes delivery from Asia.)

He pointed out to me at the IPhone store the SAME products-each selling for $30 per recharger accessory + tax.

Ha ha ha, "Apple Geniuses" at the "Apple Genius Bar." Ha ha ha!
You have to make an appointment to talk to them. We once arrived 7 mins late & the grinning "Reservation Genius" was sooooo pleased to inform us that we were too late & had to re-schedule for hours later or settle for another time. "But wait!" I said. "THERE IT IS! I SEE HIS NAME ON THE BIG COMPUTER APPOINTMENT WALL! YOU STILL HAVE TO WAIT ON HIM!" Ooooh that Reception Genius at Town Square was soooooo unhappy, all her glee was gone! LOL!

The Vegas Flea said...

Glad you're getting rid of Wells Fargo. I plan on doing the same thing here shortly. Again, Wells Fargo is horrible.

I hate the holes in the ears as well. I find it gross. I don't like any piercings, besides the occasional ear (or two). And this is coming from a guy with an arm full of tattoos. And I know some people don't like those, but hey, I don't have any on my face (yet).

:)

Vegas Linda Lou said...

No, no... I beg of you. NOT ON THE FACE!!!

JeannetteLS said...

About fifteen years ago the Sunday magazine I worked for had a young woman write about the aftermath of her tongue and nose piercings. She hoped that this would help kids stop the mutilation. She had to have all her teeth replaced in the front when she was twenty-eight because the clicking of her diamond on her teeth had ruined them from the back. She'd lost the enamel. She had multiple mouth infections. Wait. Uh oh. TMI. I don't get the self-mutilation, but I also don't get the mega tatooing either. I'm old. I love the tiara. I have never met you, but it looks like the you that comes out in your writing, so I vote for that. Hey. wanna soften the effects of aging, send me an electronic image and PHotoShop can be your friend! Never used Wells Fargo and I think I am glad. And what's up with CHEEK piercings??

Anonymous said...

The nose piercings that look like boogers. (yuck)
Cassie

Barbara said...

Passport photo! The other is nice too but you look prettiest in the passport and tiara shots.

As for the ears....as the mother of a 20 year old who's had "plugs" for several years, I have still not gotten used to them. I don't like them, but I understand that its a generational thing and THEY like them on each other. It takes a long time to get them stretched to an inch (quarter sized) and then they don't go back, you have to have plastic surgery to sew them up. Keven wishes he didn't have them but he does so he's stuck with them. He's also covered in tattoos....but then again so am I and I have been for over 30 years. So, I understand your disdain but I don't consider the people that get them to be freaks, just a generation that has a very different style.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Oh, Barbara, it's not a newsflash that you're a MUCH nicer person than I am! It's funny--as much as I feel I know you in the virtual sense, I never would have guessed you're covered in tattoos. I can't wait to meet you in real life!

Anonymous said...

See? Barbara just proved my point!

We have become the freaks! LOL!

gayle said...

I like all the photos! My passport photo looks terrible.