I have no idea how Chaz Bono did or how funny Charlie Sheen’s roast was last night—as of this writing, I haven’t even looked to see if my Facebook friends have weighed in. I was hanging out at the Alexis Park showroom, taking in the opening night of the World Series of Comedy, which is going on all week. My buddy Joe Lowers is the mastermind behind this event, so I’ll be helping him out as well as attending some comedy seminars. There’s no end to my busy-ness, and I know I have to start saying no to some things, but I definitely want in on this. As Warren Zevon said, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
Anyway, today I wanted to talk about love. Yes, love, people! Like me, one of my best girlfriends is crazy in love, and no matter how our conversation starts, inevitably we end up gushing about how great it is to be in a relationship and how—despite what 70s-era feminism would have us believe—life is so, so much better when you’re sharing it with someone who is nothing short of amazing.
I’ve said recently that if you wake up in the morning, can see your image in the mirror and can take a proper piss and shit, then already it’s a good day and you have nothing to complain about. There are a couple of other essential blocks of life that my BFF and I feel should be in place as well. One is having a source of income that’s adequate for an enjoyable lifestyle. The other is having a loving partner.
They’re both important, but at the end of life, I can tell you I’m not going to look back and think, “Oh man, I created some beautiful technical documentation.” An income feeds your stomach; a loving partner feeds your soul. Yet we’re conditioned to believe that a loving partner is a “nice to have” rather than a component as equally essential.
If you didn’t have a source of income, you’d work like hell to find a way to get some money coming in, right? You’d be scrutinizing Indeed.com, contacting everyone in your network to uncover leads, and sending out resumes with the hope that you’ll find the perfect match for your skills and marketable talents.
But we’re not as proactive when it comes to finding the perfect match for our love lives; we kind of just wait for someone to come our way. Can you imagine if you took that approach to your job search? “I’ll just wait around. Surely the perfect job opportunity will present itself to me by sheer chance.” You’d freakin’ starve! And so a lot of people are starving in the intimacy department because they’re simply not making the effort to find someone. That’s sad.
If you want to find a partner, you have to put yourself out there. Browse through Meetup.com and look for a group of like-minded folks. Post a sincere profile on an online dating site—make it funny and I guarantee you’ll get attention. (I could start a cottage industry offering that as a service.) Get the hell out of the house, and don’t be afraid to do something you enjoy by yourself. Go to the movies or a comedy club. Check out the events at your local library. Go out and support live music or a poetry reading at your neighborhood coffee shop. Just get yourself in circulation.
As you know, I’m conducting a job search now. Every single day I do something to achieve my goal of finding a rewarding position. Similarly, if you’re looking for love, you, too, should take action every single day.
If finding a love interest is important to you, then put some energy behind that goal. Make it a priority. Why wouldn’t you?