"I hate looking on the bright side, just as I hate compromising and keeping an open mind. With any of them, I know that ultimately I’m not getting my way." -- p.180, Bastard Husband: A Love Story
The older I get, the more I am convinced that keeping an open mind is something that will never work out for me. When I was in Albany, my sister Lori was after me to check out her Zumba class at the Y. The first Sunday I was there, she was like, "You have to go, it's so fun!" and I was like, "No, I'm gonna hate it" and she was bummed. Then the next week, she was all, "Come on, it'll be fun!" and I was thinking, well, Lori is such an awesome sister and she really wants me to go and our friend Donna was going and I've done nothing but eat and drink since I've been in Albany and so maybe I should keep an open mind and go to her friggin' Zumba class.
I lasted 5 minutes.
Actually, 30 seconds into it I knew that I did, in fact, hate Zumba just as much as I thought I would. First of all, although I love Mexican people, Latin music drives me batty. I know I sound totally geriatric, but it's just a lot of racket to me. Like every time I'm in Baja Fresh I think that being deaf wouldn't be all that bad. In fact, I can't stand any type of high-energy music. I'm a Highly Sensitive Person; I can't handle too much stimulation. Second, I've never liked aerobics. The step-step-clap and wave your arms around shit is goofy to me. I took years of ballet--I'm too serious for that frivolity.
So I left Lori and Donna in the class and walked and jogged around the track for a while, but you know how indoor tracks are so small you practically get dizzy and they're also boring as hell, so I bagged that idea and explored the facility a bit. I found an empty room downstairs and did some glorious yoga stretches in relative silence, with the boom-boom-boom of the Zumba class above me only faintly bleeding into my sacred and peaceful space.
So yeah, I knew I wouldn't like Zumba and guess what I was right. Linda-1, Open mind-0. Remember my trip to Disneyland? (aka "Nightmare on Buena Vista Street") That, too, was everything I knew it would be: noisy, full of Disney shit, and full of kids. Duh! But you know, you have to have an open mind... Linda-2, Open mind-0
Sometimes the open mind concept bites you in the ass at restaurants. I'm the type of person who if I really, really, really like something I will order that same thing over and over and over. Like I love, love, love "The Perfect Combination" crepe at my favorite breakfast place, Crepe Expectations. I order that every. single. time. I go there. And then one day, I thought, "I should have an open mind and order something else for a change." And so I did. And guess what? It wasn't as good as my Perfect Combination. And I was pissed. Linda-3, Open mind-0.
I'm pretty good about resisting the evils of the open mind when it comes to movies, though. If I don't think I'm going to like a movie, there's no friggin' way I'm gonna give up ten bucks and two hours of my life to sit there and stew. And I don't care how great everybody says it is or how many award nominations it got. In fact, aside from Argo and Amour, I probably won't see any of the major nominees. I can't tolerate violence, so Zero Dark Thirty and Django Unchained are out of the question. Lincoln seems like too much of a "homework" movie. Les Miserables? I don't do show tunes. Life of Pi? Not interested. Silver Linings Playbook? Rex Reed said it was overrated and I betcha he's right. The Impossible? Looks too depressing.
Aren't I the fussiest pain in the ass? Can you imagine being married to me? Mike always says that I'm stubborn, and I don't give a shit. I know what I like and what I don't like and what I won't like even if I keep a freakin' open mind. No, I'm not gonna try sushi. I tried guacamole once and it was awful. (How's that for reasoning?) Although I have to admit, one time I did try a light Japanese beer and it was actually okay.
So there you go. I'll keep an open mind when it comes to beer. Everything else... fuggetaboutit.
How about you? Have you ever been pleasantly surprised by something you tried after much resistance? Or do you, too, think the open mind concept is totally overrated?