Monday, January 14, 2013

Keeping an open mind is totally overrated


"I hate looking on the bright side, just as I hate compromising and keeping an open mind.  With any of them, I know that ultimately I’m not getting my way."  -- p.180, Bastard Husband: A Love Story


The older I get, the more I am convinced that keeping an open mind is something that will never work out for me.  When I was in Albany, my sister Lori was after me to check out her Zumba class at the Y.  The first Sunday I was there, she was like, "You have to go, it's so fun!" and I was like, "No, I'm gonna hate it" and she was bummed.  Then the next week, she was all, "Come on, it'll be fun!" and I was thinking, well, Lori is such an awesome sister and she really wants me to go and our friend Donna was going and I've done nothing but eat and drink since I've been in Albany and so maybe I should keep an open mind and go to her friggin' Zumba class. 

I lasted 5 minutes. 

Actually, 30 seconds into it I knew that I did, in fact, hate Zumba just as much as I thought I would.  First of all, although I love Mexican people, Latin music drives me batty. I know I sound totally geriatric, but it's just a lot of racket to me. Like every time I'm in Baja Fresh I think that being deaf wouldn't be all that bad.  In fact, I can't stand any type of high-energy music. I'm a Highly Sensitive Person; I can't handle too much stimulation.  Second, I've never liked aerobics. The step-step-clap and wave your arms around shit is goofy to me. I took years of ballet--I'm too serious for that frivolity.

So I left Lori and Donna in the class and walked and jogged around the track for a while, but you know how indoor tracks are so small you practically get dizzy and they're also boring as hell, so I bagged that idea and explored the facility a bit.  I found an empty room downstairs and did some glorious yoga stretches in relative silence, with the boom-boom-boom of the Zumba class above me only faintly bleeding into my sacred and peaceful space.  

So yeah, I knew I wouldn't like Zumba and guess what I was right. Linda-1, Open mind-0.  Remember my trip to Disneyland? (aka "Nightmare on Buena Vista Street")  That, too, was everything I knew it would be: noisy, full of Disney shit, and full of kids.  Duh! But you know, you have to have an open mind...  Linda-2, Open mind-0

Sometimes the open mind concept bites you in the ass at restaurants.  I'm the type of person who if I really, really, really like something I will order that same thing over and over and over.  Like I love, love, love "The Perfect Combination" crepe at my favorite breakfast place, Crepe Expectations.  I order that every. single. time. I go there. And then one day, I thought, "I should have an open mind and order something else for a change." And so I did. And guess what?  It wasn't as good as my Perfect Combination. And I was pissed.  Linda-3, Open mind-0. 

I'm pretty good about resisting the evils of the open mind when it comes to movies, though. If I don't think I'm going to like a movie, there's no friggin' way I'm gonna give up ten bucks and two hours of my life to sit there and stew.  And I don't care how great everybody says it is or how many award nominations it got.  In fact, aside from Argo and Amour, I probably won't see any of the major nominees.  I can't tolerate violence, so Zero Dark Thirty and Django Unchained are out of the question. Lincoln seems like too much of a "homework" movie. Les Miserables?  I don't do show tunes. Life of Pi? Not interested. Silver Linings Playbook?  Rex Reed said it was overrated and I betcha he's right.  The Impossible? Looks too depressing.

Aren't I the fussiest pain in the ass?  Can you imagine being married to me? Mike always says that I'm stubborn, and I don't give a shit. I know what I like and what I don't like and what I won't like even if I keep a freakin' open mind.  No, I'm not gonna try sushi. I tried guacamole once and it was awful. (How's that for reasoning?) Although I have to admit, one time I did try a light Japanese beer and it was actually okay. 

So there you go. I'll keep an open mind when it comes to beer.  Everything else... fuggetaboutit.

Yeah, whatever.

How about you? Have you ever been pleasantly surprised by something you tried after much resistance?  Or do you, too, think the open mind concept is totally overrated?

11 comments:

AngPerry said...

Yoga. I used to be one of those people who made fun of yoga. Then I tried it. Now I crave it. A direct selling business. I used to be the one who wouldn't take their phone call or run from them (hee hee), but now I chase people with this great opportunity. I am with you on the food thing though, I know what I like.

grrouchie serge said...

Linda - I accidentally typed too much and didn't want to burden your comments section with what fell out of my fingers....

However, for anyone who wants to listen...

http://www.grrouchie.com/2013/01/an-open-minded-response-to-vegas-linda.html

Sammi said...

Linda, My husband always jokes with me that he knows what I am going to order before I do because I like what I like. Nothing to spicy, nothing with too much cream and if there are is a good fish combo then I am there.

I do like to think I am open minded but then again when I start to think about it maybe not so much..But I have tried sushi and liked some of the rolls.

lightning36 said...

"Aren't I the fussiest pain in the ass? Can you imagine being married to me? Mike always says that I'm stubborn, and I don't give a shit."

This does not sound too bad. The worst, imo, is the high maintenance person. Stubborn is easy to deal with. At least one knows what you will and won't do.

Guess my plan to treat you to a dinner of avocado roll sushi needs to be modified, huh?

Vegas Linda Lou said...

@ Angela: Yoga is so damn cool! I could never do direct selling, but I know you're awesome at it. Plus the Arbonne product really is wonderful.

@ grrouchie: Checked out your post. You're a bigger man than I am!

@ Sammi: Thanks for commenting and for following this blog! We all like to think we're open minded, but it takes a big person to admit she's not--ha! XOXO

@ Lightning: I'm not really high maintenance; all I ask is for the person I'm with to shoo away birds. Oh, and sometimes we have to move three times in a restaurant before I find a seat that pleases me. Other than that, I'm pretty independent.

Forget the avocado roll sushi--no way. Treat me to a Guinness instead!

Gina D. said...

Linda, I think you ought to give yourself more credit. In fact I think you do have an open mind, you're just not open to experiences that don't interest you (certain foods, goofy trends, violent movies--I'm with you on that btw), and all that says is you know yourself. However, I think you absolutely have an open mind because you are a social, fun person, who has a ton of friends--and I doubt close-minded people can say that about themselves because they're too busy judging other people. In other words, you may be set in your ways for you, but you don't begrudge people for doing or trying things that don't interest you (except maybe for things you find morally despicable). Of course if you had written about that, this post wouldn't have been nearly as funny--reason one why you're a comedian and I'm not! :)

Taradharma said...

I think at this stage in our lives, we know what we like and what we don't. I know I wouldn't like Zumba. I never liked dance aerobics, so there you go. I'd rather swim laps or go for a walk with the music of my choice on the headphones.

I think keeping an open mind when contemplating change is a good thing, it gives you options. But, if you don't like musicals, why in the world would you enjoy seeing one? Though I LOVED Le Mis, 'cuz I love musicals. And, dear one, Silver Linings was Brilliant. Truly. Not overrated at all. I think you might just like it.

Liz said...

BEER! I hated beer (or thought I did) for a looooong time. After many "come on, keep an open mind and try it" comments from the Hubby and friends, I did. Good Lord! All these years later, I still feel bad about all the beer I missed out on. :-) I think I'll have several tonight to help make it up to my beloved beer.

Bristolvol said...

I am with you sista! No Disney, zumba, musicals, etc. for me either. As far as trying something new, if it does not fall within my likes, I am out. (Fell asleep twice watching Lincoln, only went because I love history). I feel that at my age, I know what I like and what does not work for me....

Vegas Linda Lou said...

@ Gina: I think I do have an open mind when it comes to people. Everybody is coming from their own experience, and I can usually keep that in perspective.

@ Tara: I might just take a look at Silver Linings based on your recommendation. You turned me on to The Way and it was fantastic!

@ Liz: Thank GOD you came to your senses! And you drink good beer, too!

@ Bristolvol: A new commenter--yay! Good to know about the Lincoln movie. I'll wait for it to come on Netflix and then fall asleep in the comfort of my bedroom.

Mimi said...

Hi Linda, I agree Guinness wins over sushi any day, my "open" mind thinks it's raw stuff, rolled up in seaweed, uuugh!
There's only one theatre in Dublin that I will go to, been to many others and hated all the plays, but never been disapointed in the Gate.
So, yeah, open minds are grand if you like to be regularly disappointed, otherwise they're overrated.