Good news -- at last!

I want to tell you about a website I wish the entire world would read. Over a year ago, my dear friend and fellow Henderson Writers’ Group member Lisa McGlaun created Lifeprints—Good News for a More Compassionate World. In contrast to the page you’re reading right now, which is pretty much a collection of shallow observations and inane rants, Lisa’s blog is a testament to her belief that we can all do our part to make the world a better place, one compassionate deed at a time.

In addition to being a blogger extraordinaire, Lisa is a thin and gorgeous mother of five—the type you’d love to hate if she weren’t one of the nicest people on earth. And she’s a fantastic writer, too. Her manuscript, All Things Temporary, was picked up for representation by a prestigious New York City literary agency about a year ago. The story is a memoir of Lisa's experience as a young foster mother to a troubled teenager. Lisa’s agent is still shopping this beautifully written project to publishers—keep your fingers crossed that someone is wise enough to publish it for all the world to enjoy!

Please check out and bookmark Lisa’s site. Read her archives and see how one beautiful soul is leaving her mark on the world.

Please support Hats Unto Others!

The first time Mike ever saw me cry was on June 1, 2009, the day I found out my Beautiful Aunt Joyce died of breast cancer. The second time he saw me cry was last Labor Day weekend when I learned my dear friend Lisa McGlaun had been diagnosed with breast cancer.

You know how I feel about that f*cking disease (and my regular readers know what it can suck).  Fortunately, Lisa has completed her chemo and is doing well.  So well that, true to her character, she's not thinking of herself but is helping others.  I'll let her tell her story.

When I went to my oncologist's office for the first time back in August I distracted myself by reading all of the signs posted on the walls. That way I didn't have to think about what was coming down the pipe....chemo, surgery, radiation....lots of stuff that scared the shit out of me but all of it out of my control. So one of the signs said, "Do you want to be a happy hooker?" Well, that caught my attention! Turns out it was for the next meeting of the "happy hookers", a group my doctor started. They get together once a month and crochet hats and blankets for the chemo patients that receive treatment at her office...which I was about to be one of!

So I went to the meeting and loved it so much that I started spending all my down time (time on the couch because I didn't have the energy to get up) crocheting hats. I'd learned to crochet from a family friend when I was eleven but hadn't made anything in years so making the hats ignited my creativity again. It also gave me a way to keep my mind off myself and on something positive like giving back to the community...my new community of loved ones on "Planet Cancer"...:)

Comprehensive Cancer Centers of Nevada has several offices around the valley. I went to an appointment at a different office one day and realized that they didn't have a program to provide hats for their patients. I began to donate my hats there instead. Yarn got expensive! Ideas began to roll around in my head for how to keep these donations going. I'd go to sleep thinking about it and then I'd wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it. Always at 4 a.m. because cancer patients who are on steroids never get a good night's sleep..lol..that is my new wake up time!..arrggg.

So I settled on a buy one/share one program and my husband Todd came up with the name "Hats Unto Others," like "Do Unto Others as you'd have them do unto you." :) Very clever, that man of mine!

Beautiful Lisa

I've had a great response. I think that is because it is a win/win situation for everyone involved. I get to make hats to give to people who need them and now have funding to buy the yarn. Also, I get to be really creative in making the custom hats that people order. The buyer gets a cool hat for themselves and the satisfaction of having another hat donated in their name. Now they are able to help a cancer patient too! The cancer patient gets a hat, which is a very good thing because until you've experienced a bald head you don't realize just how cold it can be! LOL

When I am at home in the evening I almost always have on a hat...my head just gets very cold. I know other women who've lost their hair feel like I do. There have been nights when I've slept with one on because even though I'm nestled under the covers my shiny bald head is not! It's helped a great deal.

I've had 30 orders so far. I'm very pleased with that and I'll continue making the donation hats even if no one else ever orders. As long as I have yarn, I'll keep going. I've set a goal of donating 1000 hats and I intend to reach it

If you've ever known someone with breast cancer--and at this point who doesn't?-- you know how helpless you feel.  You want to do something.  Well. here's something you can do.  If you can, please help Lisa reach her goal.  You can find out more or place an order by emailing her at hatsuntoothers@gmail.com. 

How I wish my aunt were still here on earth with us; I would have loved to buy her a couple of hats.  Although she did manage to find one herself...

B.A.J. was so funny!

I have cried twice in front of Mike since then, both within the past week.  Once was because I was pissed and the other was when I saw on Facebook that my friend's 32-year-old daughter died of breast cancer.   She had learned of her daughter's Stage 4 diagnosis only five days earler.  Thirty-two years old!  And she leaves behind 6-month-old twins.

I'd so rather cry out of anger. 

But what is there to be angry about?  Let's enjoy every minute of life today, shall we?  And thank you, dear Lisa, for being the angel on earth that you are.  With every cell in my body, I wish you a full recovery and a long, long life ahead.

Thank you for your kindness, and um... can I put in one more request?

Thank you so much to all of you who ordered hats in support of Hats Unto Others, my friend Lisa McGlaun's labor of love to provide hats to breast cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy.  In case you didn't see the comments Lisa left on Tuesday's post, I've condensed them into one:

Linda,

I love you. You're such a dear friend.Thank you for helping me get the word out. I'll be fine. I know I will. I am one of the lucky ones...just a few more surgeries and radiation treatment to follow and I can put this behind me. At least I'll put that part behind me but not the happiness I've found in crocheting these hats. It brings me such joy. 

I've already had some orders this morning thanks to this post. You have awesome readers!

Again...this is incredible! My donation hats have tags pinned to them that say Hats Unto Others...donated by...  I write in the name and state of residence for the person making the donation. Thanks to you cancer patients in Las Vegas will know that people from states like Wisconsin and Minnesota care about what they are going through!

I can't thank you enough for your help with this.

Love you,

Lisa

In Tuesday's post, I also mentioned that one of my comic friends, Terrie Burnette, lost her 33-year-old daughter to Stage 4 breast cancer merely days after her diagnosis.  Here's Terrie's Facebook message:

On Tuesday Feb. 8,2011 I lost my daughter, Jessica Rae, 33 years old, to Stage 4 breast cancer. She was diagnosed last Saturday, and passed away Tuesday. We had no time to prepare, there was no treatment, just one day she's here alive and hopeful and before we knew it she was gone. She's left behind a sorrowful family including two daughters (living apart) and twin boys (living with her) just 6 months old. She wasn't working, had ...no will, no insurance, no idea this was going to happen. The family is in need of help for her final expenses. We are asking for donations, any amount will be greatly appreciated and extremely helpful.

If you'd like to help Terrie out, and just a couple of bucks adds up quickly, you can send donations easily enough through  Paypal to the email address tbspirited@gmail.com.  (Please click the personal/gift tab or Paypal will take a percentage.)  

Terrie also says:

Even if you cannot support financially, twin baby-boy clothing donations or just a short note of support through prayer or loving thoughts is welcome. Thank you all for your continued support in this excruciatingly painful time.

Some brief words of sympathy--even from strangers--can mean so much.  You can send Terrie a message at terrieburnette@yahoo.com.  Please put "Jessica Rae" in the subject line.

As Lisa said, I have awesome readers.  Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. 

Have a great weekend and cherish every day!

"Well, how did I get here?"

Five thoughts about my current state of life:

1. I woke up this morning to the sound of a chainsaw cleaning up from this week's snowstorm. In Las Vegas.

2. I think my comedy set was only so-so last night; it went over fine, but I learn something every time I go on stage and there's definitely a lot of room for improvement. The crowd was great, though.

3. Two of my writer friends are having (separate) book signings today, so this afternoon I'm going out to support them. One will be at Borders; I should pick up that Chicken Soup for the Soul book that I have an essay in.

4. I'd like to finish my next Living-Las-Vegas column today, but I may not get to it until tomorrow.

5. Sometime soon I need to draw a line in the sand and decide whether to continue pursuing representation for my manuscript, Bastard Husband: A Love Story or go balls to the wall and self-publish. Hmmm... that title. I'm still not sure if it's right.

Not too long ago, back when I was in Albany, NY, (where I lived for the first 43 years of my life), I would have looked at those statements and thought, "Wha-what-WHAT?"

Who could I possibly be talking about? I live in Las Vegas? I have writer friends? I'm a writer? I do stand-up comedy?

As the kids say, WTF? As the Talking Heads song goes, "You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?"

The answer lies in one of my favorite movies of all time, What About Bob? It's right there in the title of Dr. Leo Marvin's book: Baby Steps.

For the most part, your life is a reflection of the baby steps you've taken and the choices you've made--more specifically, the actions you've chosen to take. None of this stuff happened magically for me; for example, let's examine my path to the stand-up stage.

I perform stand-up comedy these days because one Sunday night I chose not to be a pathetic, lonely freakin' two-time divorcee (I hate that word) and instead of staying home to watch The Simpsons, I chose to go out by myself and check out an open mic stage in the back room of a bar on the west side of town. A few months later, after choosing to go back week after week, I chose to sign up to do a set myself, even though it scared the crap out of me.

Then I chose to stick with it--on and off for a while--because in the meantime, I chose to take similar baby steps on my path to becoming a writer: I chose to structure my journal writings into a memoir, with the help of the Henderson Writers' Group, which I chose to join. Blah, blah, blah... you get the picture.

So, with the New Year approaching, this is a good time to think about the path you're on. Is it the right path for you? What types of baby steps are you going to choose to take during the coming year?

Oh, one more thing. I've had two interesting developments lately that I don't want to talk about too much because I don't want to curse myself. One of them was alluded to yesterday on my friend Lisa McGlaun's blog. It may turn out to be something cool, or it may turn out to be nothing. At any rate, check out Lisa's site--she's a beautiful person and a really neat chick.

This and that, newsletter style

New job update.  Well, guess what?  My work-at-home dream job has been postponed for "a few weeks."  Nothing I can do about it but growl and hope that I don't get another email saying, "a few more weeks." Or "after the first of the year."  They've hired on a bunch of us instructional designers throughout the country--I guess it's a huge project and they want to make sure they have everything in place before the project launches.  Fair enough, but just in case it really doesn't start in "a few weeks," I'm following up on the other prospects that coincidentally came to the surface when I got the offer.  Sigh.  The good news is, even if something else does come through, I can work that job part-time. You know, in my free time between writing a book, doing comedy, being a wife, etc., etc...

Conversation the other night at dinner with Mike's 7-year-old:

Step-daughter:  "Linda, when I get old, I want to be like you.
Me (sweetly):  "You do?"
Step-daughter: "No, I don't want to be like you, I just want to look pretty like you.  But I don't want to be like you."
Me (thinking to myself): You mean you don't want to be bitchy like me?
Step-daughter:  "I think it's too hard to write books."
Me: "Ooooh...."

New book update:  I read a few pages of the new book I'm working on at this week's meeting of the Henderson Writers Group and I'm happy to report it was very well received.  It's going to be a collection of ruminations on a variety of topics such as love, work, family, etc.  I'm pulling from four years of blog posts, essays and articles I've written, my stand-up material, as well as new stuff.  The writers at the meeting thought it was hilarious.  Working title is I'm a Mess, You're a Mess.  What do you think?

I need your opinion!  I'm doing a little informal research here for the book.  Do you ever catch yourself checking out a someone who's obviously older than you?  What caught your eye?  Leave a comment or email me at linda@bastardhusband.com.

Inspiring blog for you to check out.  I've written several times about my dear friend Lisa McGlaun.  Lisa is one of the nicest people I've ever met, and not annoyingly nice, if you know what I mean.  She's a beautiful and talented writer, and she just started a new blog, Dispatches from Planet Pink,  about her journey (I hate that word, but it kind of fits) with her July 2010 breast cancer diagnosis.  Don't think, "Who the hell wants to read about something so depressing?"  Her posts are so well written and they're truly enlightening, though they're hard to read without hoping the content never applies to you.  Sadly, we all seem to know someone who's been down that road.  As of this writing, she has four posts; my advice is to start from the beginning and make your way up.  Check it out--you can't help but love her!

Old book update.  You probably saw at the top of the page that this weekend I'm participating in a Kindle promotion and will be offering my memoir, Bastard Husband: A Love Story, for free on Saturday and Sunday, November 10 and 11.  You don't need to have a Kindle--you can also download to your iPhone, iPad, or PC.  I did this promotion back in September--and kept it under the radar to test it out--and the results were amazing.  I sold tons of books, I mean e-books, and got some really nice emails from readers.  Fingers crossed for this time!

Funny joke I heard.   People are always telling me jokes, adding, "You can use that" just like Rich Little did Sunday night.  (He, of course, was kidding.)  A friend at the writers' group meeting told me this one.

Eighty-year-old guy walks into a singles' bar, approaches a woman and says, "Do I come here often?"

That made me laugh! But any (good) comic would like the world to know that we'd never perform anything that's already "out there."  Funny as they may be.

Have a great rest of the week and weekend!

Back in love again

Don't get too excited; I'm not taking off to New Zealand. I'm talking about my book, Bastard Husband: A Love Story. (Is that a collective sigh of relief I hear?) I went through a period where I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not. But I do. I love it again.

Finishing the damn thing was like finally giving birth after a three-year gestation period. At first I was elated—believe me, writing a book is no small accomplishment—and I didn’t even lose faith when I started to get rejections from agents I queried. I knew it was a worthy project; even my rejection letters were complimentary of my writing style. It was just a matter of connecting with the right agent who could see its marketability and recognize my brilliance. (Ha.)

Then I began to wonder, “Wait a minute... is this an ugly baby?”

And so I cut about 7,000 words from the first part that I’m not sure I was ever comfortable with. When requesting a partial manuscript, agents typically ask for the first 50 pages, and I always wanted to tell them, “Don’t worry, it gets better as you go on.” Well, that's not good! So I did some rather heavy-handed editing, and now I’m much happier with it. I think I did the right thing, but of course, I'm always second guessing myself.

After reading the excerpts I recently posted (on November 11 and 15), I love it again. I mean, I really do think it’s good. I’m confident readers will be entertained and inspired; something I have to say may even make a major difference in someone’s life. I want it out there.

Right now an agent in NYC is reviewing my revised first 50 pages. He’s had them for over a month, which is a little longer than most agents’ response time for a partial. That’s okay. I’m giving myself until the end of the year to find this perfect agent that may or may not be out there; after that, I’ll self publish. I know a lot of writers who have taken that route, and given the current state of the traditional publishing industry, doing it myself looks more and more attractive. And even if I do get an agent, there’s no guarantee he or she will be able to sell it to a publisher, again, given the state of the industry. My dear friend Lisa McGlaun wrote a beautiful book that, as far as I know, has been in limbo for over a year as her agent works on her behalf to make it a reality. And once a book is sold to a publisher, another year and a half to two years will pass before it sees the light of day. That's a long freakin' time.

So stay tuned. I do believe the universe unfolds in divine order. It will be interesting to see how my project gets into the right hands, meaning the hands of the reader.

Update on Hurricane Mikey!!!

I know a lot of you landed here at one point or another via blogger extraordinaire Hurricane Mikey's site.  A former poker dealer, Mikey had a wildly popular blog about his antics on and off the job here in Las Vegas.  In Summer 2010 he moved back to Tennessee to be closer to his loved ones, and almost immediately faced a life-or-death battle with a blood clot in his lungs. Mikey won; a mere two months later, he was well enough to take a cruise with his family and since then he's been committed to improving his health.  Last April he had gastric bypass surgery (or something like that--I'm not sure of the procedure's exact name) and since then has lost about 125 pounds. He's still has a way to go to meet his goal, but man, he is determined.   He looks fantastic!

Hurricane Mikey, raconteur and ladies' man

 Mikey hasn't posted on his blog in a year, but he's doing fine. Now, anyway. Last week was another story; he gave us another scare.  Earlier this summer he ended up back in the hospital with another round of pulmonary embolism problems.  They did a CAT scan and his doctor noticed his lymph nodes were swollen, so Mikey was referred to an oncologist. Nobody, NOBODY ever wants to be referred to an oncologist, right?

Since then they ran all kinds of tests, but couldn't nail down what, if anything, was wrong. Last Monday he went in the hospital again for a couple of days for a biopsy.  I talked with him for quite a while on Thursday night.  He said they're hoping it would come back negative (duh), in which case he'd be fine. Otherwise, he'd be looking at one of two types of lymphoma. He said he'd be finding out the next day at his 11:00 appointment with the oncologist and promised he'd let me know either way.

I woke up Friday morning to a text that read, "Cancer free!  Woot!"  Oh, happy day!

With this latest ordeal behind him, Mikey will be back to work at his this week, and will continue to work toward his health goals--he's turned himself into an avid hiker.  I've offered him to guest post on my blog whenever he wants--let's hope he takes me up on that, or better yet, gets back to posting on his own blog.  He's a natural writer, and I know he'll do something with all that talent. Because if for no other reason, I'll nag him like crazy.

So long sigh of relief for Mikey.  As you know, I have quite a few friends who've been struggling with health issues, including cancer.  If you haven't checked out my friend Lisa McGlaun's blog about her experience with breast cancer, Dispatches from Planet Pink, be sure to do so. Very enlightening.

Recently I wrote about my friend Donna, whose husband was recently diagnosed with ALS.  Donna raised over $1500 in donations for her ALS walk.  And my friend Chuck in Albany, who needs a kidney and liver transplant, met with the team in Boston and is one step closer to having that be a reality. 

Speaking of, I posted this on Facebook yesterday--a text my grandson, Connor, sent me.

Can you see why I adore that kid?

Stay healthy, folks!