Beating hearts

Mom and my sister Lori are still here and so I’m far behind on my required reading, meaning the goings-on of my beloved blogging buddies. However, yesterday I did get a chance to sneak a peek at my BFF Julie’s site, 47 and Starting Over. The title doesn’t quite say it all (she writes about a variety of topics, and well), but it gives you a good idea of the theme of a lot of her posts. I’m not sure how I originally came across Julie’s blog, but having started over myself at 45 a few years ago, I knew it was something I could relate to.

Julie was having a bad day last Sunday, as evidenced in her post entitled “Due to lack of interest, today has been canceled.” In it she says,

“I hate being almost 48 years old and single. I need companionship, and not the kind that you get from girlfriends either. I have plenty of friends and family who love me. I just miss being in love, and having someone love me back. I don't mind being alone, but damn I am lonely.”

Yeah, a lot of us know what you mean.

There’s a line of thinking out there, and I don’t know who’s perpetuating it, that women should be perfectly happy living the Mary Tyler Moore-throwing-our-hats-in-the-air single life. "We don’t need no stinkin’ men" and "We’re responsible for our own happiness," blah, blah, blah…

I have to admit, I’ve accomplished a ton of stuff in the five and a half years since my ex and I split up—I’ve gotten into stand-up comedy, written a book, had a few of my pieces published, became vice president of my writers’ group, and have been quite active in the writing community speaking on panels and at writing conferences. And I’m about 98 percent positive that had we not split up, I wouldn’t have that list of accomplishments. I wouldn’t have had the time or the motivation to accomplish what I have since our split.

That said, let’s get back to the passage from Julie’s blog (and kudos for her full-frontal honesty). I think that no matter how independent we are, how much we’ve accomplished on our own, or whether we’re male or female, most of us would agree that life is richer when shared with someone you love.

In my book, Bastard Husband: A Love Story, I conclude that in the end your heart beats for itself. I still believe that’s true—but given the choice, I think most of us would opt for Bono’s line, “Two hearts beat as one.”

What do you think?