Those 25 things

I’m a little late getting on the “25 Random Things About Me” bandwagon that’s been going around Facebook. My Blogging Buddy Julie and her son, Jordan, were written up in their local newspaper about their participation in this phenomenon. I resisted for a while, but okay, I’ll play along at the risk of boring you to tears. These fascinating facts aren’t worth the screen they’re displayed on, but I’ll try to make it interesting.

1. I am the oldest of five kids spread over 14 years. My mother and the girl next to me in French class were pregnant at the same time.

2. I had two kids when I was 21 and still finished my bachelor’s degree at 23.

3. I have never tried soy, sushi, yogurt, or guacamole simply because I don’t like the sound of them.

4. A few years ago, I came in second place in a pretty feet contest. It was held at a gas station.

5. I’m absolutely helpless. I can’t open a box of pasta without making a mess of it. If I were sitting next to emergency exit of that plane that landed on the Hudson River, everyone would have died.

6. I love men, but I would never, ever want to be one. Unless I were a rock star. Then I’d want to be Neil Young.

7. I have been to the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival 12 times. I’ll be there this year, too. So will Neil Young.


8. I totally admit that I’m a cross between Private Benjamin and Princess & the Pea. How doooo I stay single?

9. This morning I weighed 138.5. The most I weighed when I was pregnant was 139. Not good.

10. Regarding weight, a famous actress once said that as women age, at some point they’ll have to choose between their ass and their face because they’re not going to look good at the same time. I’m choosing my face.

11. From Day One, my mother told me I was soooo smart and soooo beautiful. That's why I have such high self-esteem; I didn't think she was lying.

12. When I was little, I asked my mother if the air was blowing the trees around or if the trees were moving and that’s what made it windy. She answered with, “Jesus Christ, what the hell kind of stupid goddamn question is that?” Maybe I wasn't that smart after all.

13. I have never had a day at work that was better than a day at home.

14. I regularly consult psychics. Prudence, my tarot card reader, is cheaper and more effective than a therapist.

15. I’ve been watching Guiding Light for over 30 years. My sisters and I used to go to NYC for their annual fan club gatherings. So queer! I don’t care--I love my soap.

16. I am easily annoyed. And I have zero patience. But I still think I’m nice as hell.

17. I took ballet lessons on and off into my mid-30’s. I’m so graceful, I could trip over the pattern in the carpet.

18. I have a sister I haven’t spoken to in three years, but I think of her every day.

19. When I meet people, I know I subconsciously give them extra points if they’re Jewish, Canadian, or gay.

20. My life’s purpose came to me one morning when I was meditating. “To help others access, acknowledge and accept their God-given talents and help them share those talents with the rest of the world.” Sounds corny as hell, but I do believe it’s true.

21. I believe in love at first sight. I believe it can happen more than once.

22. Sometimes to motivate myself to clean, I pretend Princess Di and JFK, Jr. came back to life and are coming over for dinner.

23. I am not very materialistic. I’ll prove it—take a look at my living room. And let’s not forget I drive a 13-year-old Saturn.


24. I used to go for younger men. Like at one point I had two kids and a boyfriend all in their 20’s. But in the past few years, I’ve much preferred guys within a couple of years of my own age.

25. I swear to God, I don’t think I’m any worse looking now than when I was younger. The only thing I hate about getting older is that I’m running out of time and I’m afraid I won’t be able to accomplish everything I want.

Yep, of everything that people should know about me, this is what I’m putting out there. Oh, my.