Usually I go to the annual Laughlin River Run bike fest on the Saturday of the event, but this year my pal Donna had tickets to see Bon Jovi Saturday night, so we both took last Friday off from work and headed down the highway.
I've attended the River Run every year since 2008, when I wrote this piece, back when I was a columnist for www.living-las-vegas.com. Longtime readers know that I'm not really a biker chick--I'm too Private Benjamin/Princess and the Pea for motorcycles--but I do love the biker culture. The music is always great and anything goes--no one cares what you're wearing or if you're overweight or your roots are in dire need of a touch-up. Everyone's just out for a good time. That's liberating.
That said, as a general rule of thumb, whatever you wear should probably cover your ass crack.
Oh, my. Like, wouldn't you think he'd feel a little breeze down there? This is terrible, but that kind of looks like my father. Like if my father was a biker dude instead of a bus driver.
Anyway, here I am sporting a Harley tank top my sister Lori Biker gave me.
I'm such a poser, huh? Noooo, I can't get on a motorcycle! The helmet will mess up my hair!
So it's kind of obvious that I didn't just get off a bike. But Donna and I were noticing that this year there were a LOT of people there who didn't look like bikers. I mean, we saw people pushing baby strollers and guys in freakin' golf shirts! Interesting.
My friend Adrian was working there again this year, selling beer in the parking lot of one of the casinos on the Laughlin Strip. Adrian is not only freakin' hot, she's the nicest, sweetest, funniest person. I mean hilarious. She asked me about doing stand-up and I'm going to encourage that big time. She's a natural.
(I know I have a bunch of new male readers who will thank me for that one!)
Adrian insisted we get a few pictures together and I was like, "Get the fuck out of here. I'm pretty good looking until I stand next to you!" But I can't resist her, so she won.
I just want you to know that smile on my face is totally fake. My self-esteem isn't strong enough to stand next to a size 0 without crying on the inside. I have more to tell you about our day in Laughlin, but right now I need to do my Buns of Steel video. A hundred times.
To be continued on Thursday...