First, thanks to everyone for your comments, emails, and texts expressing concern for Mom. She was released from the hospital yesterday and, thank God, seems to be doing well. What a scare, though.
Those of you who know my mother--in real life, virtually, or through my book--know she has a fantastic sense of humor and she loves being the butt of my jokes. Hell, without her, I'd barely have a comedy act; let's just say she's a goldmine for material. And even through all the craziness this week, we found all kinds of stuff to laugh at.
Okay, so Sunday we went to some kind of cultural festival, which used to be called "Hippie Fest," at Eagle State Park outside of Boise. It was a beautiful day, and the high point was sitting in the sun drinking a delicious Black Butte Porter (white wine for Mom), listening to a guy sing a most gentle version Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah." Perfect.
|Stepdaddy and Mom on Sunday afternoon
The next morning after breakfast we were sitting at the table making plans to check out a new Ross Dress-for-Less when all of a sudden I thought she was talking out the side of her mouth and slurring her words. "Keep talking," I told her (something I'd never encourage) and sure enough, I knew something was wrong.
Needless to say, off we were to the nearest Urgent Care. By the time we got there, her speech was okay, and I told the triage nurse, "If she kind of sounds like Barbara Walters, don't worry; that's normal for her." We had a good laugh, but the nurse was so concerned about Mom's blood pressure that she ordered an ambulance to take her to the ER for further evaluation. I said I could drive her, but I think Mom pulled the nurse aside and said, "Look, my life is in enough danger. Don't make me ride with her."
So I watched them load Mom into the ambulance, offered to take a quick picture for her Facebook page because I'm considerate like that, and then met her at the ER, where they did all kinds of tests. As we waited for the results, I looked at her lying there all hooked up to all these monitors and was like, "Sooooo... does this mean we're not going to Ross today?"
Fortunately, everything came back great. They concluded that the stroke-like symptoms were caused by elevated blood pressure--and it was super high. They gave her a prescription to fill and sent her home. After dinner she sat there shouting Jeopardy answers, I mean questions, to Alex Trebeck and everything was business as usual.
But right before bedtime, things were definitely not fine. Mom almost totally lost her ability to speak and that was scary. Stepdaddy and I raced her back to the hospital. At that point, she could speak again, but her cognitive abilities were definitely impaired. They'd ask her her name, and she'd be like, "My name? Oh, shit. I should know that." As they got her blood pressure more in control, she could respond appropriately. I asked her my name and she said, "Linda," and when I asked her my last name she looked at me like, "Jesus Christ, how the hell am I supposed to keep track of that? It changes with every goddamn husband."
After a couple of hours in the ER, they transferred her to ICU, where they could keep a good eye on her. She was obviously feeling better because she was complaining about the beep-beep-beeping and Jesus Christ, I feel like I'm in a goddamn fishbowl, so Tuesday afternoon they moved her to a regular room, which, thankfully, was to her liking. Yesterday they sprung her loose, and fingers crossed this whole ordeal never happens again.
Since Mom was home and doing well under Stepdaddy's watchful eye, last night I decided to take in an open mic at Liquid Laughs in downtown Boise. It's a nice room and the crowd was great. As it turned out, they were having a contest; the best comic of the night got a $50 gift card and the opportunity to open for headliner Gabriel Rutledge tonight. Well, guess who won? I was supposed to go back to Vegas today, but now I'll be heading home tomorrow. Again, fingers crossed.
Thanks again to every single one of you for your good wishes. You have no idea how much I appreciate that you even stop at this site, much less take the time to write. I am grateful for so, so much.