Five things I keep forgetting to tell you and Happy Birthday, Mom!

1. I’ve drunk the iPhone 4 Kool-Aid and it’s delicious! You may recall my complaining about the HTC HD2 phone (a.k.a. piece-o-shit brick) I got right before my trip in May. Well, after spending literally hours on the phone with tech support, I was finally able to get out of my contract with t-Mobile. I really wanted to stay with them; I was quite happy and never had any problems. I felt like I was breaking up with a boyfriend who was nice enough, but who I simply outgrew. Yes, I know you’re trying, but you’re just not keeping up with me.

OMG, the iPhone 4 rocks. There is no comparison on speed and ease of use. That said, if anyone is interested in buying a barely used HTC HD2 complete with the car plug-in battery charger thing, I have one I’d love to sell.

2. I saw a woman in a burka in Kohl’s. She scared the crap out of me and I’m afraid I visibly jumped. I’m glad we didn’t make eye contact because I think I would have burst into tears. As much as some days I wish I could don one of those ultimate fat-hiders, my heart breaks for the women under all that cloth.

3. The Higher Elevations jewelry website is back up and running. Soon after I added the link to the column at left, my friend Susan Doherty (who I’m staying with while I’m back east) did some upgrades to her site and had to shut it down for a while. But it’s humming now—check it out! She makes beautiful stuff—nobody ever notices my chicken skin neck when I’m wearing one of her creations.

4. I still love Facebook! I have both a personal profile and my Bastard Husband page. A few weeks ago I heard from a distant cousin who’s living in New Zealand (!) and who I haven’t seen in probably close to 40 years. So cool.

Here's my current profile pic of me and my grandson, Connor, taken a couple of weeks ago when I arrived at the Albany airport from Las Vegas. He's on his tip-toes--not quite as tall as me yet.

(Twitter, however, can still kiss my ass.)

5. The deadline for your How Am I Normal? submission is upon us. I’ve gotten some fantastic stories of nutty childhoods—this is going to be a fun book! If you don’t quite have your act together, but would really like to submit a story, email me and let me know when you think you’ll have it ready by. Full submission guidelines are here.

And finally…

Happy Birthday, Mom! Yep, today DeeDee Idaho is 76. I don’t even know where the hell she is—somewhere in Montana, I think. After suffering with agoraphobia and spending years sacked out on the couch, she’s making up for lost time! Last time I talked to her, she was telling me of her plans to go whitewater rafting. Jesus H.