Overjoyed to be back in Vegas!

After spending almost a week in Florida--Orlando, Daytona Beach, and back to Orlando again--Sunday night I returned to my beloved Las Vegas.  I had a lot of fun with my work friends, but I'm way out of balance.  I didn't have much time to myself, and so I'm really, really behind on what feels like every aspect of life.  I owe people phone calls, emails, sympathy cards, birthday greetings, replies to Facebook messages... I didn't even get to post on Saturday.  And how the hell long has it been since I did a comedy set?  Am I even funny anymore?  And isn't this the time of year when I should be endlessly promoting my book, Bastard Husband: A Love Story, the greatest gift you could possibly give someone whether they're female, male, old, young, single, divorced, a virgin, or dead? 

I hate it when I get so out of whack like this.  It won't last, though.

So check out this mannequin my coworkers and I passed on our way to the bar dinner in Daytona.  It's hard to believe I've never come across one of these in Sin City.

Looks like Barbie got implants!

Before our flight on Sunday we had lunch at the House of Blues in Downtown Disney.  I know that Disneyland/World is friggin' Mecca to a lot of people, but I've tried my entire life to avoid all that.  No, we did not take our kids to Disney World when they were little--we sent them off with their grandparents and had a big-ass party at our house hours after their plane left the ground.  Disney is just not me.  (Remember my visit to LEGOLAND?)

So there I was Sunday afternoon in Downtown Disney, walking in the eye of the perfect storm of everything I hate:  kids I'm not related to all running over the place, birds flying inches from my head because they're so used to idiots feeding them, and Christmas music blaring in the streets.  I was like, why don't I just find myself a TV with a football game and buy myself a non-alcoholic beer and a friggin' salad?

I swear to God, I'm a female Lewis Black lately.  It won't last.  (If I say that often enough...)

Well, I did see the humor in this sight. 

Everything's "family" in Disney!

Anyway, I'm very happy to be home and once the holidays are over, I'll be back in balance.  Fingers crossed.