Before I left for Idaho on Saturday, I picked up a People magazine in the airport--required reading for flying. Heidi Klum was on the cover; as you probably know, she and Seal are reportedly splitting up after almost 7 years of marriage.
I take celebrity splits hard, especially when the couple appears to be so meant for each other. Of course, from our vantage point, we don't know what really goes on, but nonetheless, when the picture looks so bright and beautiful from the outside, there's a sadness to seeing it fade. It's enough to make you wonder, are most people destined for a good run of a few years and anything beyond that is basically a demonstration of one's ability to endure?
Having recently gotten hitched myself, I hate to think of marriage in that way. Mike and I are so sickeningly in love you'd want to projectile vomit. As it should be, though--we're only just a couple of months into our marriage. This is the third time for both of us and don't think we're not aware of the statistics that say we have like a 5 percent chance of "making it." Add kids into the mix, along with his ADD and the fact that just about everything bugs the shit out of me and you'd wonder how we ever got together in the first place. And then we went and got married.
Crazy, huh? We couldn't be happier. We have a lot going for us on the compatibility scale; we share a lot of common interests (we met at the Henderson Writers Group), are truly best friends and work everyday to build our partnership. There have been a lot of lessons learned in the 50+ years we've been on earth and we're consciously trying to apply those lessons toward cultivating our relationship.
But still, there are no guarantees. If a breakup can happen to Heidi and Seal and Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins and Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth (my absolute favorite celebrity couple), then is anyone safe?
In one of his songs, Jackson Browne says, "That magic feeling never seems to last." Despite our pasts, we have to believe that's simply not true. A couple of weeks ago from the back seat as we rode down the highway, Mike's 7-year-old daughter wished on a star that "Dad and Linda never get divorced." You can bet we'll try like hell to make her wish come true.
7 comments:
It is a rare celebrity marriage that lasts because I think the business its self gets in the way.
Who is more popular, successful, brings in more money and so on. After time, it adds to the instability of a marriage which is always a work in progress anyway.
Hmm, now that Hedi is on the market...
i'm not really a celebrity groupie, in general, but the news of heidi & seal made me sad :-(
holding you & your sweetie in my heart -- many blessings on your marriage! XO
"It's enough to make you wonder, are most people destined for a good run of a few years and anything beyond that is basically a demonstration of one's ability to endure?"
In a word...yes. That's what I think happens. I wish it didn't....but my own experiences tell me it does.
Heidi & Seal did make me sad but I started thinking back ... they renewed their vows every year and apparently had another wedding. It just seems that everything these celebs do is a show. Maybe when the sex gets ordinary and life becomes typical they feel they are no longer in love. But I did love them together ... don't be surprised if she/he remarries next year ... to someone else. :(
I just think she woke up one day and realized, "Hey, I'M HEIDI KLUM! and I'm married to...uh.. Seal?" :)
I'm leaving my third marriage, so I have absolutely no credibility on the subject. I have no idea what makes a partnership work...it IS good for awhile and then it's not. ANd I'm not about hanging out in misery. The problem is: the kids. WHy do they have to suffer because we are clueless?
It's vital for a marriage that both partners work to keep it alive, and interesting, and vital. WHen one gets complacent, well, that's the beginning of the end.
I know what you mean about certain celebrity marriages. Most don't matter to me, but some do. I would be devastated if Bruce and Patti got a divorce after their 21 year marriage. It would depress me.
I love what Mike's daughter said!
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