Last night I was walking around The District in Green Valley Ranch in search of the perfect Mother's Day present and Mother's Day card for the perfect mother and I'm like semi-pissed off because every year I seem to get her something from Coldwater Creek or Talbot's or Chico's and there I was heading for those exact stores again this year and what the hell is wrong with me that I can't be more imaginative like my sister Lori who got her the most awesome present on earth but I can't tell you what it is because Mom reads this blog and I can't ruin the surprise.
Anyway, I'm on a mission and am probably sporting one of those determined faces that you hope nobody takes a picture of because in real life you're much prettier than that, and out of nowhere a young security guard, probably in his 20's but I can't tell because he's b-l-a-c-k and he was probably actually about 60 because you know black people age much better than us white folk.
That's not racist, it's complimentary.
Anyway, I probably should come clean and tell you that I am, in fact, a model and that I actually Photoshop-ed my friend Adrian's head onto my body in that picture I posted on Tuesday because I've always wondered what I would look like with long, thick, curly hair.
And now I know.