Thursday, December 11, 2008

The holidays make me mental

I hate the holidays. I’ve often said I wish I could hibernate from the day before Thanksgiving to the day after Christmas. Call me a scrooge, grinch, killjoy, spoil sport, party pooper, wet blanket… call me anything (except fat or ugly), I don’t give a crap. When I was a kid, we had fabulous Christmases—I mean, incredible. We got everything we could have wanted, and yes, I loved it. But as an adult, I look at the holiday differently.

Call me crazy (yeah, that would fit), but I think Christmas should be for um… Christians, and, well, I’m not a Christian. I’m sure Jesus was lovely, but since I don’t go to church to worship him, I think I should be off the hook when it comes to Christmas stuff. Yes, when my children were little we showered them with presents and we decorated the house and had a Christmas tree, but quite honestly, I couldn’t wait to take the damn thing to the curb, vacuum up the pine needles, and put the living room back the way it was.

And yes, to this day I give people Christmas presents, but I can’t say I always feel good about it. It’s not that I don’t like giving presents; I’d much rather give unexpected, spontaneous gifts. For example, back in August my son, Christopher, was in a wedding in California and I sent him a couple of hundred dollars for his trip. It brought me joy to surprise him like that! Last week a friend of mine came over with some really nice Yankee candles. They weren’t a Christmas present; he just knows I like candles. Awesome! But at Christmas, I have to schlep all over creation to find presents for a holiday I have no business celebrating anyway. (I should say I also hate shopping.)

I know; I’m so bah humbug. Sometimes people will ask me, what about the whole “Christmas spirit” thing? You know… “Peace on earth, good will to men.” Can’t I get into that? I respond similarly to what I wrote in my Thanksgiving blog last month: shouldn’t those sentiments be expressed all year round? Yeah, why can’t people be kind-spirited all freakin’ year?

Now after all this bellyaching, you may be surprised to hear that I recently saw a Christmas decoration that I actually like. My sister Lori found this little gem in Rite-Aid among all the Santas and angels.

In case you can’t tell from the photo, it’s a little statue type of thing of a mother, father, baby, and dog. And look--the baby’s leg is in the dog’s mouth! Not only that, the father and mother are pulling the baby away from the dog. By the hair.

Lori and I were practically peeing our pants over this. And the best part is, it's not really a Christmas decoration. They're all standing in a mound of snow, but there's nothing Christmasy per se about it. It's a winter decoration. If I were Lori, I'd keep that baby out from Thanksgiving till St. Patrick's Day.


Julie D said...

hahaha...I love that! That's the kind of Xmas decorating I like to do!

I'm with you on the "not into the holidays" thing. Ever since my son stopped believing in Santa, I've gotten bored with the whole thing!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Oh, Julie, if it were up to me, Christmas (and all the other holidays) would be like leap year, the Olympics, and the presidential elections. Every fourth year would be one giant celebration, and then we could all relax during the other three.

However, I would make St. Patrick's Day a semi-annual event. Or monthly.

Anonymous said...

I have decided to keep this decoration out year round. I can put grass and flowers around it for the nicer months. Maybe I will hide their coats by wrapping towels around them and putting them on the beach! This truly brings me joy!

Hurricane Mikey said...

Normally, I'm a huge fan of Christmas, but I just can't get into it this year, no matter how hard I try.

I'm not a religious person either, but hey, Christmas is still a pretty cool holiday. Just wish I felt it this time around...

Bar L. said...

Another brilliant idea - having these holidays every FOUR years! I think I could handle that, and it would be so much more special to everyone. I was a Christian for many years and believe me, quitie a few of the Christians I know don't treat Christmas that much differently than anyone else as far as it being all about decorations and gifts and foods vs the birth of Christ. But I guess the economy needs us all to go broke once a year buying people things they don't need or want.

I agree with you on all this.

I can't believe that decoration...I'm heading to the nearest Rite Aid to see if I luck out and find one!