If you saw my Facebook post last night, you know that Mike and I had a swingin' start to this weekend. Yup, our Friday night in Vegas consisted of going out for ice cream and then we came home and I kicked his friggin' ass in Scrabble. (What are we, 90 years old? Is this what my life has come to?)
I don't care; that was a sweet victory because he's been driving me bonkers lately. Black Ops is rearing its ugly head again, and now Mike has an iPad that takes up every other minute of his life.
Listen to this--on Thursday I got some disturbing news that sent the rest of my day straight to the shitter. All day long I fluctuated between being incredibly sad and ready to kill somebody. That night, the two of us were sitting on the couch chilling in our bedroom; he's there pecking away at his iPad and I start crying as a release from all the crap of the day.
He put down his iPad and was like, "Oh, honey, come here..." which is great, but only makes me cry harder, so I go to get a tissue in the bathroom. So I'm gone for like, literally 5 seconds, and I come back and he's got the goddamn iPad back in front of him! Comforting mode is over! OMG, is that such a guy thing or what?
Okay, so then yesterday I'm out back getting some sun by the pool, still sad and pissed off and plotting to kill someone, and guess who accidentally locked me out of the house--in a two-piece bathing suit-- before he left for a client appointment? Fortunately I had my phone, so I called him and he was like, "I'm in a meeting a half hour away" and I'm trying to be nice so I say, "Okay, well, just... you know, I'm locked out..." not thinking it would be another hour and a half before he'd wind things up and get back home. Evidently the women in the meeting were like, "Um, isn't your wife locked out of the house?" and he was like, "Oh, she's fine." Thank you so much, my beloved. It's a damn good thing I had four celebrity magazines with me.
I have told you before this man is gifted intellectually. You have to check out his blog. He almost never posts anything, and literally has seven times my traffic even though I faithfully post three days a week. Okay, maybe a thousand people a day aren't interested in seeing pictures of my grandchildren or listening to my rants about Mike Tyson and helicopter parents, but I cannot believe there are that many people out there who can relate to his genius stuff.
Yes, my husband is a real freakin' smarty pants. But let the record show that when it comes to Scrabble, I prevail.
|He's lucky he's so good looking!