Saturday, April 7, 2012

I love my husband, I love my husband, I love my husband...

First, I so dug all your comments about my last post on helicopter parents.  Ugh, right? 

If you saw my Facebook post last night, you know that Mike and I had a swingin' start to this weekend.  Yup, our Friday night in Vegas consisted of going out for ice cream and then we came home and I kicked his friggin' ass in Scrabble.  (What are we, 90 years old?  Is this what my life has come to?) 

I don't care; that was a sweet victory because he's been driving me bonkers lately.  Black Ops is rearing its ugly head again, and now Mike has an iPad that takes up every other minute of his life.  

Listen to this--on Thursday I got some disturbing news that sent the rest of my day straight to the shitter.  All day long I fluctuated between being incredibly sad and ready to kill somebody.  That night, the two of us were sitting on the couch chilling in our bedroom; he's there pecking away at his iPad and I start crying as a release from all the crap of the day. 

He put down his iPad and was like, "Oh, honey, come here..." which is great, but only makes me cry harder, so I go to get a tissue in the bathroom.  So I'm gone for like, literally 5 seconds, and I come back and he's got the goddamn iPad back in front of him!  Comforting mode is over!  OMG, is that such a guy thing or what?

Okay, so then yesterday I'm out back getting some sun by the pool, still sad and pissed off and plotting to kill someone, and guess who accidentally locked me out of the house--in a two-piece bathing suit-- before he left for a client appointment?  Fortunately I had my phone, so I called him and he was like, "I'm in a meeting a half hour away" and I'm trying to be nice so I say, "Okay, well, just... you know, I'm locked out..." not thinking it would be another hour and a half before he'd wind things up and get back home.  Evidently the women in the meeting were like, "Um, isn't your wife locked out of the house?" and he was like, "Oh, she's fine."   Thank you so much, my beloved. It's a damn good thing I had four celebrity magazines with me.

I have told you before this man is gifted intellectually.  You have to check out his blog.  He almost never posts anything, and literally has seven times my traffic even though I faithfully post three days a week.  Okay, maybe a thousand people a day aren't interested in seeing pictures of my grandchildren or listening to my rants about Mike Tyson and helicopter parents, but I cannot believe there are that many people out there who can relate to his genius stuff.

Yes, my husband is a real freakin' smarty pants. But let the record show that when it comes to Scrabble, I prevail.

He's lucky he's so good looking!


Taradharma said...

oh jeez, I can't even tell what his post is saying -- it's in some strange Martian language!

I'm glad you kick his ass in Scrabble -- he needs to learn humility!

Glad you love him - love is grand and is the best thing on the planet. And he is pretty darned handsome....

Bar L. said...

Yep, damn lucky he's a hottie.

I checked out his blog, didn't get it.

Debbie said...

Linda, hope all is well and that you're feeling better. Reading this post I just felt worried about what made you angry/sad cause you're my gurlfriend.

How's this for insensitive ... last Thursday there was a murder in my condo complex. Like horrible, gun shots and a gang banger had his face shot off literally steps from my door and a 22 year old girl was killed around the corner. I WAS FREAKED OUT. No one could leave the complex because it was a crime scene. My husband managed to get to work but when he got home that day after I had been held hostage by police who would not let any of the residents leave, he got his bike, walked out the back patio across the pond and went on a fucken bike ride!!!!!!! OK. How's that for caring about your wife. Ugh.

like you ... it's a good thing i love him and think he's adorable.

Julie D said...

OMG. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Knowing Mike as I do, I'm still trying to figure out how he could lock you out of the house while you were in the pool????

Men. Can't live with em. Can't shoot em.