Thursday, June 14, 2012

The funniest thing I've ever posted

I'm warning you--pee right now and swallow your coffee so you don't spit it all over your monitor. 

Okay, so last week  Mike and I met Courtney and baby Hazel for lunch at the Olive Garden. It was packed, and so it took a little while for our food to arrive. Hazel was starting to get a little itchy, so Courtney took her out of her chair and stood her next to our table.  To prevent Hazel from straying and getting in the way of the wait staff bustling around, Courtney started playing a little game with her. 

"Where's your nose?" she asked, and Hazel pointed to her nose.  Court then asked, "Where's your hair?" and Hazel touched her beautiful locks.  When she asked, "Where are your eyes?" Hazel blinked again and again.

Everywhere they go, people stop and comment on how beautiful Hazel is, with her red hair and all, and I could see people smiling at her--some even pointing--as they ate. All eyes were on Hazel.

Well, Mike wanted in on the game, and being a Mr. Smarty Pants, he thought he'd trick Hazel by asking her to identify that thing that hangs down in the back of your throat.  But instead of saying, "Where's your uvula?" he asked,

"Where's your vulva?"

Hazel, Courtney and I just looked at each other like, huh?  And Mike was all smiley, like what?  And then Courtney whispers, "You mean like, vagina?" And when Mike got what he said, I almost saw someone actually die of embarrassment.

But instead, we almost died laughing. 

How freakin' funny is that story?

Hazel's outfit for the next time she goes to Olive Garden


Julie D said...





Donna B. said...

LMAO! I ABsoLUTELY LOVE that picture of Hazel. What a character...I can just see Mike's face!!!! I am still laughing...

Liz said...

Tell Mike that's what he gets for messing with a poor, innocent child!! HA!! I'd have died laughing along with you guys.

PS - I LOVE that red hat! She's such a cutie pie.

~Coach said...

I read an Olive Garden story on my facebook last year from one of my friends... This young girl whose family actually owns an Italian restaurant chose OLIVE GARDEN when they asked her where she wanted to go eat - when they arrived and asked her why she chose Olive Garden of all places, she responded, "because when you're here, you're family..." ;)

Other Mikey's Julie said...

Aahahahaha! Mensa Mike!

grrouchie said...

That is damned amusing - I love the things children say.

Debra Lynn Shelton said...

Damn, that girl is cute! I hope she's not emotionally damaged by her dad's personal question. Bwahahaha!!!

Mimi said...


love your opening line too!

Rob said...

Awesomely funny. And how could I not love any story that features a "vagina mentioning"?