Thursday, April 23, 2009

Sexy Blogger? Moi?

Well, what do you know… my blogging BFF Julie over at 47 and Starting Over has named me for the Sexy Blogger Award!


I can’t even begin to feign surprise because the truth is, had it not come my way, I would have been Pissed. As. Hell. Now, there are a lot of things that clearly I am not: tactful, soft-spoken, politically correct… But I will be the first to tell you, I am freakin’ sexy.

In order to accept this award, I must list Five Sexy Things About Me. Only five? Seriously?

Let’s start by getting the obvious out of the way:

1. I have a fantastic rack. Yes, it’s all rigged up with underwires and so much padding you wouldn’t know I was cold if I lived in Antarctica. Doesn’t matter. God invented Victoria Secret technology for a reason: to keep America beautiful. Plus remember, I live in Las Vegas. I gotta have a nice rack; it’s the law.

2. I have a nice smile. Can't you tell I’m a freakin' blast to have around just by looking at me? I exude fun! And fun is sexy.

3. I strut my stuff. Everyone teases me about my runway model walk, but I can’t help it—that’s what years of ballet and yoga will do. This is funny—when I first came to Vegas, I signed up to be a hospice volunteer. One day the old biddy chaplain complained to the volunteer coordinator that I “sashay” around and that I was too sexy for the hospice! She actually said that the wives of the patients wouldn’t appreciate my being near their dying husbands. True story—further details in my book. (Why write fiction when real life is so fascinating?)

But as I’ve said a million times, when you have good posture, you walk with confidence. And confidence—like a nice smile and a fantastic rack—is sexy.

4. I have great legs. Having decent legs is pretty much a gift from God. Sure, you can exercise to tone them up, but for the most part either you’ve got ‘em or you don’t. I figure any loving God would have to give me shapely legs to make up for the crappy hair. It’s only fair.


5. I drive a sexy car. Let’s face it; nothing says, “Come and get me” more than a dusty 13-year-old Saturn with a dented roof. Hey, look—earlier this week I hit 199,500!


Only 500 miles to 200K! I am so going to the car wash on the big day! And I’m getting the works. Yes, I know—the Service Engine Soon light is on. Usually I cover that with masking tape, but it must have fallen off.

So there you go, sexy blog readers. And now I must pass this on to some other sexy bloggers. (My little sexpot friend Sarah (408 Down) should lead the list, but sweetie, you've gotta keep up with your blogging.)

The first two are hot Aussie chicks Lilly (Lilly’s Life) and Linda (Linda and her Twaddle). You just know they have cool, sexy accents. Extra points for that. Linda’s the one who wrote about how she once blew a snot bubble on a job interview (still cracking me up), which I know does not sound sexy, but she’s posted pictures of herself and she totally looks smokin’.

I met Debbie Schubert (Write on Target) last month up in Philly and man, she has the body I would have if I actually did Buns of Steel every friggin’ day like I promised a couple of weeks ago. (Don’t ask.) (Really, don’t.)

And speaking of incredible bods, Carmen (Poker Girl in Vegas) is lucky I can even be friends with her. She’s one of those skinny little size 2’s with big boobs, and I’m not talking foam floatation devices like mine. Damn her.

But the grand prize goes to my buddy and neighbor Hurricane Mikey. Talk about a lot to love! “Warm in winter, shade in summer…” isn’t that what they say? Oh, yeah!

Of course, all my blogging buddies are sexy—and so are all you readers. But most people aren't nearly as full of themselves as I am, so here’s the question: Are you comfortable naming five things about yourself that you think are sexy? Can you do it? C’mon--let’s hear.

21 comments:

DebraLSchubert said...

OMG! I'm like so totally honored! I had no idea you thought my body was smokin' hot! How did you know I work out to the Buns of Steel video at least five times a day? I don't remember mentioning that little detail. Hmmm. BTW: Does this mean you're honoring me with a sexy blogger award, or just that I have write about why I'm sexy? Cuz, I mean, without the bling, it don't mean a thing.;-)

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Oh, you've so got it, sister!

Julie said...

Christ, after reading all your sexy attributes, I need to rethink coming out there. Do I want to hang out with a Goddess like you?

FUCK YES. :) 29 days, hotstuff.

ReeRee said...

I am going to have to admit... I have admired your 1-5 attributes on many occasions! I like to walk behind you and towards you!! Love me some Linda-Licious!

KriMonster said...

You are the SEXIEST person I know. Hands down! Just for the record, number 3 is my favorite attribute. And...I love the fact that you called 408Down out on her lack of blogging! She needs to get with the program!

CarmenSinCity said...

Sweet!!!!!! Thanks for passing the award on to me. I'll write about it tonight. Also, I am glad to be in such awesome company - it's you, me and Mikey - PERFECT! The gang's all here. I love you guys!

Hurricane Mikey said...

I'll write about it too, but I've got to think pretty hard to come up with five sexy things about myself.

(Carmen, I may need you to return that pic of my junk. Heh...)

But thanks for giving me the Grand Prize, Linda!

Krissyface said...

you definitely have a SUPERB rack! (and I mean that in a totally non-lesbian way)

408Down said...

Linda, that award is clearly well-deserved! No arguments on your 1-5. Oh, and thanks for the honorable mention on your sexy bloggers list. I know my posts have been scarce, but I've been working my sexy offline a lot lately!;-) Love ya!

AmyK said...

I would vote for you in a heartbeat. You win on legs alone. I am still looking for the ones that should have been mine. I believe a 6' supermodel has them because I didn't get them.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

This award fits you to a "T"! You are definitely one sexy babe :)

CarmenSinCity said...

I claimed my award and did my list. Thanks again Linda. And you are right, I am lucky that you are my friend :)

DebraLSchubert said...

Thanks, you hot babe, you. Check out my blog. I've got some new bling there thanks to you!

Lilly said...

OMG you do have great, great legs!!! And great, great everything, best of all a great sense of humor. And Mikey is totally hot! I agree. Thankyou for the Award...have to get my thinking cap on!

bobdfishr said...

Does this make you cyber sexy?

Danica Lynn said...

You do have awesome legs. I'm jealous!

Hurricane Mikey said...

So uh, Lilly... How YOU doin'?

travel girl said...

You sexy thing you;)

Other Mikey's Julie said...

Best 2 back to back posts EVER! Your "voice" alone makes you super sexy - the rest is just icing baby. Confidence, sense of humor. positive attitude - all so sexy. That supermodel who has AmyK's legs? She has my boobs. Fortunately, I too finally know Victoria's secret.
Mikey kills me - watch out Lilly.

Linda and her Twaddle said...

Oh my, what an honour. Now I have to write five sexy things about me. That will take me all day to think about. Hmmmm. Snot bubble?

the letters i wish i'd written said...

Oh my God, you are like the holy grail, I had heard of women like you, but I have never actually known one. It has always been my belief that you were either given great legs or a great rack, I never met a woman with both and I have proven my theory over and over, I could write a paper on it. I'm from the school of legs, no rack, just legs and to finally have tracked one of you, the chosen, it's like where do I go from here? Everything I believed in has been taken from me...it's getting so dark, papa can you hear me?