Sunday, January 15, 2012

Now I'm handing out diet tips...

You're going to think I'm talking out of both sides of my mouth.  On the one hand, I'm always yakking about the media's crazy obsession with weight and size 0 is NOT attractive and when you're laughing your ass off, no one cares how big it is... blah, blah, blah.  And I really mean it.

I recently posted a link to this article on Facebook.  Interesting to hear a size 12 plus-size model talk about the industry.  Did you know that ten years ago plus-size models averaged between size 12 and 18 and today they range from size 6 to 14.  Huh?  Size 6 is a plus size now?  I'd love to be a size 6!

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not obsessed with my weight.  I'm heavier than I've ever been and even weigh more than the day I gave birth (both times), but I'm a healthy size 8, and Jesus Christ for 54 years old, even I can tell that I look pretty goddamn good.

December was a big eating month, though, and I packed on some pounds I really want to get rid of.  I don't like how my clothes are fitting and I'll be goddamned if I'm gonna buy a bigger size.  Mike's bigger than he's ever been, too, and although there's certainly something to said for being fat and happy, we'd both rather be just as happy but not so fat.

I told Mike that I know first-hand that the quickest way to lose weight is to cut out the carbs.  Before I met B.H. (for new readers, that's my ex-husband) (okay, one of my exes) (the star of my book) he had lost a shitload of weight on Atkins and was still doing the low carbs thing.  When we were together, I joined in and was in the best shape of my life.  Then when we split, I got away from that way of eating.

Anyway, Mike and I decided we'd give the low carb thing a try.  We're not cutting carbs altogether--that's just crazy--but we're definitely choosing our food more carefully.  And it's working!  Here are the results from the first week, captured on a little whiteboard in our bathroom:

Seriously, something had to be done.  I NEVER thought I'd see the day where I weighed 145.8.

The good news is, we're finding this REALLY easy to do.  And the even better news is, because you see results immediately, it's easier to pass up the typical temptations (bread, pasta, ice cream, junk food, cookies, candy, Starbucks lattes and banana walnut bread, etc.) because nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.  And the best news of all is, you can still have fast food.

I hate to admit it, but I do eat lunch out every day.  I know I should bring a lunch, but the break room at work is too depressing and I'm not about to eat at my desk in my cube, so I usually run over to the food court at Red Rock casino or eat at Baja Fresh down the street.  Well, once Mike and I started counting carbs, I started checking out the menus of some of the places I eat, and it was a real eye opener.

Here are the links to nutrition information for my two favorite fast food restaurants, Panda Express and Baja Fresh.  You can see that by switching from Beijing Chicken to Broccoli Chicken, I'm saving 44 grams of carbs.  Forget the chow mein and rice--at 65-86 carbs, the price is too high for something that doesn't even taste that good.  Burritos at Baja Fresh, which are all over 80 carbs and about 900 calories, are a thing of the past.  I now have two shrimp tacos, which combined are about a quarter of the damage.

This seems so simple.  Don't deny yourself your favorite restaurants; just make sure you know what you're ordering. Get online and look at their menus.   I swear, simply being more conscious about what you're eating will make a huge difference.

Twenty minutes after I posted this...

Oh, freakin' super.  I just saw that if you do a Google image search for "women middle age spread," this shows up on page 6.

You gotta be able to laugh at yourself, right?  OH, BUT THAT PISSES ME OFF!!!

Five minutes after I posted that...

OMFG, if you do a Google image search for "handsome 50 year old man," this shows up on page 1.

THAT IS SO NOT FAIR!  These pictures were taken on the same goddamn trip!


Donna B. said...

LMAO!! Oh Linda...I can't wait to have lunch...we have so much laughing and talking to do!

I tried Atkins with Jerry too...Jerry lost 30 pounds and my stomach got flatter but my cholesterol went through the roof! I have genetically high this diet did not work for me.

I have to stay away from potatoes, white bread, sweets, pasta, and coffee creamer...but I usually eat all the veggies and fruit I want...except for corn and peas...too starchy.

We chatted briefly the other night about wanting to "whittle down the middle"...and I too weigh more than I did when I was pregnant with both my girls.
I used to be 5'7" and know I am shrinking, so I am probably 5'6". I was 180 when I was pregnant and lost 25 pounds giving birth with a C-section...and then nursing slashed off all the rest except for ten pounds. I danced a lot back in my younger years, so weight just fell off me.

Gyms gross me out with all the sweat on the machines, but I am seriously considering Zumba and Yoga...wish me luck.

Fragrant Liar said...

Bwaahahahahaha. The pics are totally not fair, Linda. I practice low-carb eating habits, and I have been doing that since about 2001, when I first encountered the "middle-age spread". Before that, I never knew what a diet was. Now, I know all about it . . . I'm petite, as they say, so size zero looks good on me. But hey, one has to work at these things. Why isn't anything easy, I ask you?

And hey, you look GREAT!

Debbie said...

Linda, I can't deal. Carbs/protein/calorie counting ... it all gives me anxiety. The only way for me to lose weight is NOT TO EAT. EVER. You'll see when you meet me, which, by the way I'm totally freaking out about because I just realized I have no one to watch my dog. I always forget about her. And P.S. my old man eats nothing but Mexican food 24 hours a day nonstop. He cycles, plays racquetball and has the bod of a 25 year old guy and it makes me sick.

Taradharma said...

as our population grows fatter my the year, model sizes get downgraded so that big gets even smaller. How bloody typical.

I watch carbs since I'm diabetic, and it has been one of the best tools in my diabetic tool belt.

I think you and your hubby look GREAT!

Debbie said...

LINDA! I AM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF OVER YOUR TEXTING "GARY" INSTEAD OF ME (peeing in pants laughing) YOU WHACKJOB LOL!!!! ok ok - I hate Madonna. Truthfully those sinewy arms are gross and she is sooooooo nacissistic. Didn't you think that most of the young girls looked like old ladies? What was with all the tight, severe buns?!

So sorry i didn't get any of your texts, you would have made the evening so much more fun!

ok honey - found someone to watch the doggie. I feel better already *sigh*

Josie said...

Bottom line, you're both hotties! You even moreso than him and I've always thought he was a hunk. <---kids that's a compliment! look it up if you're younger than 30 yrs old.

Barbara said...

I lost a lot of weight cutting out most carbs and have gained some back because I am eating bad carbs again as a way of coping with life.

I feel best when I cut out processed foods, dairy and high carbs. But since that's not realistic for all the time so I do that 90% of the time and eat whatever the hell I please 10% of the time (but sticking to that is easier said than done)

Mimi said...

Watching carbs works well for me too, and I agree with your take on dieting- you just swap foods for lower carb and hey bingo!
I also do Mr Motivator Soca Calipso DVD some days, it's like dancing and I love it!
And finally, not eating after 7pm works brilliantly for me! I (try to!) drink only ginger tea, then I'm not tempted by my usual bikkies.
Good look with your programme, though I think you look amazing.

Debbie said...

And just to make you feel better ... if you saw the numbers on my scale you'd shoot yourself in the brain.


Vegas Linda Lou said...

@ Donna: I'd like to try Zumba, but the Latin music is too much for me. I want to put in earplugs while I'm eating at Baja Fresh.

@ Fragrant Liar: A size 0 looks good on you??? Grrrrr.... i used to think I'd like to meet you someday, but I think I'll wait till you put on 20 pounds.

@ Debbie: You're not fat, you're just a whack job.

@ Tara: I bet a lot of diabetics would be helped by going low carb. And thank you!

@ Josey: THANK YOU! Especially since I know you've always had an appreciation for that hunk of man of mine.

@ Barbara: I agree, you can't deprive yourself. Then it just becomes to miserable.

@ Mimi: You are so right about not eating at night. Definitely makes a huge difference.