Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I love people who make me look normal and just for the record, I'm not yet 55

I'm so excited!   I'm finally going to meet that whack job Debbie of From Venting to Viggo fame when she comes to Las Vegas this weekend.  That chick is OUT THERE!  I could be wrong, but I have a feeling she's going to make Julie from 47 and Starting Over look totally normal.

Anyway, in anticipation of our meeting up, Debbie sent me her cell number, which I immediately programmed into my phone.  I knew she'd be writing a post about the Golden Globes and so as I was watching them Sunday night, I decided to text her some commentary like,  "Angelina, easy on the lipstick!" and "Nicole Kidman: GODDESS!" and "Best gown so far: Jessica Alba."

I don't hear back from her, so I'm thinking maybe she doesn't recognize my number, so I text, "It's Linda!"  Still nothing. Then finally I get this text:
"Hi, Linda. Well, thank you for sharing your night with me. Just one thing--I don't know who you are, though you sound like you're having a fabulous evening. Feel free to let me see through your eyes tonight's events. Take care, Gary."

Evidently I entered Debbie's number in my contact list with my area code, not hers. So now I have this new friend Gary...

And I have the nerve to call Debbie the whack job.  I must apologize when I meet her.

Changing topics...  Last Tuesday after eating my low carb lunch at Baja Fresh, I decided to roam around the Ross Dress-for-Less in the same plaza.  I picked up a pair of those Sketcher Tone Up sneakers because, you know, I'm on this weight loss kick (140.8 this morning, who the eff cares) and so I'm at the register and the cashier, who's probably 10 years older than me, says,
"Are you in the Tuesday club?"
Now, because I'm a Ross frequent flyer, I know what the Tuesday club is--they give a discount on Tuesdays to people 55 and older.

I was like, "Seriously, you fucking bitch? I'm not even 54 and a half yet."

Okay, I didn't really say that.  I just shook my head, took my receipt and said, "See you next Tuesday."



Kym said...

It's happened to me before! Doesn't feel good!! By the way, I am halfway through your book and it is SO good! I am thoroughly enjoying it!! I don't know why I waited so long to buy it!!

Josie said...


I hope you really did leave saying the See You Next Tuesday line....and that Gary story, was highlarious.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Oh hell, yeah, Josie!

THANK YOU, Kym, for buying my book. I knew you would like it!

Julie D said...

OK wait, who is this person and how dare she make ME look normal?!?!?!?!?! I mean, that's a big job!

Dying over your new friend Gary.

Married life has sure settled you down, any other time you'd have said that...(and more)...and not just thought it.

I swear if you start drinking frou frou drinks next I am on the next plane to save your 140 lb ass.

Debbie said...

Girl I can't wait to meet you! The Gary story -- too fucken funny! And just so you know, 140 lb is now a GOAL. *sigh*


Tender Heart Bear said...

Don't feel bad about the phone number thing I have done that myself. I felt so embarrassed when it happened. Now I double check the numbers I put in my phone.

I would have never known you are in your fifties if I hadn't read it on here. Seriously you look younger than that.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

@ Julie: Don't worry, dear friend. No frou frou drinks for me--I'm a beer girl!

@ Debbie: CANNOT WAIT!

@ Tender Heart Bear: No one can believe I'm in my fifties, but only because I should be a lot more mature. :)

Taradharma said...

maturity, like sobriety, is highly over-rated.

I'm the same age as you are and I rue the day when and if I act mature!

word verification: nonannni

For reals.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Totally agree, Tara!

Unknown said...

As offended as I would be, I would graciously take the discount!!

Sounds like Gary handled the text messages with grace. You probably made his day!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

I know, Simone! I'll be 55 later this year, and I'm going to take advantage of everything!

Cousin Laurie said...

Hahaha! That's a riot! I was asked the same question when I was in Ross last year, and still a young 51 year old. I think I was speechless...but my daughter just burst out laughing. Also....I had mentioned that I was from New Zealand. She commented on how well I spoke English...then I burst out laughing...and said "gracias!" :-)