Thursday, January 12, 2012

Sometimes things aren't as they seem

For those of you who think my life is so fantastic...  living in a love palace with a super hot husband, traveling all the time, doing comedy and having interesting comic and writer friends, enjoying good weather, living in Las Vegas of all places, blah, blah, blah...  Well, let me tell you, all is not perfect.

Yes, the big things are certainly in place and I shouldn't have a complaint on earth, but the truth is, I hate my fucking job.  There, I said it.  I have hated it since day one.  Yep, I've tried to make the best of it, but I knew I was in the wrong place right off the bat.  I can't go into specifics; all I'll say is I'm used to a more structured and formal training environment.

Things have changed, in some ways for the better.  The company is actually pretty decent, from what I can tell (I'm a contractor).  It's recognized that the training needs to be tightened up.  They need documentation.  They need someone who can design curriculum and write kick-ass training manuals and user guides that even a monkey can follow.   

Unfortunately, that someone is me.  I've been moved into another department, which is good, but now I'm writing all day, which is bad.  Instead of being out on the road doing training (which I like and was hired to do), I'm driving 26 miles to work every day so I can sit in a cubicle, hardly speak a word to anyone all day, and write.  I am doing exactly what I never wanted to do again.  Unless I was starving, I wouldn't have even applied for the job I'm doing now.

I've already quit.  Last week.  But my boss's boss is a great guy and I'm staying to finish documenting one module because I want to help him out.  That should take 1-2 months, though God knows there's a ton of documentation that needs to be done.  And the woman (!) I report to now is very appreciative.  But that doesn't make the day go by any faster.  Working at home occasionally is a possibility, but they just hired another writer who at least initially will be working under my direction.  So I'll have to be in the office.

Weh, right?  I should feel lucky to have a job in this economy, right?  No, fuck that. I have a good education and 20 years of experience in training and writing and I'm really good at what I do.  I'm lucky in a lot of ways, but I should have a decent job.  That's not luck.

Sorry to be all bitchy, but isn't it just a tiny bit refreshing to get a break from my usual "I love my life" posts?  Seriously, that has to be annoying.


Caz Wilson said...

Aww this made me giggle this morning. I love your honesty Linda, it's so refreshing in blog world. You'll figure this all out, but I love how you don't stand for subpar happiness. It's very inspirational!


Julie D said...

Thank God. I was gagging on all your happiness. LOL

I kid, I kid.

Glad you're getting out of there...

Debbie said...

I'm really sorry you hate your job. NOTHING WORSE THAN HATING YOUR JOB. And yes, you should consider yourself lucky to be working in this economy BUT ... if your not happy, your not happy. I had a job. It was ok. I wasn't that HAPPY but I had been unemployed for 2 years ... I was ready to pick up dog shit for a paycheck. You're educated, smart, funny ... something will come along. YOU DO COMEDY! That's gotta be a great feeling. I think if you ask random people on the street if they loved their jobs 9 out of 10 would say HELL NO.



Debbie said...

What the hell! I just left a big ol commment and now I can't find it! OK. I'm really sorry your unhappy with the job. There is nothing worse than being unhappy at work. It just fucks up the rest of your life. I had a job, it was ok. Was I happy? Not really but after being unemployed for 2 years I was ready to pick up dog shit for a paycheck. Nine out of 10 people hate their jobs so you're not alone. I still think your FAB!

Taradharma said...

always good to know that life isn't perfect -- far from it! And even though you may be excelling in one area, you (the royal you) can be floundering in another. Always helpful to hear this -- I think people get stuck in the need to be perfect. But perfect does not exists.

Great post!

Mellodee said...

I understand that the needs of a company can change over time and sometimes that causes change in a lot of job responsibilities, but how that can happen within weeks of starting a new job is totally beyond me! Why ever do they hire someone for one thing and then completely change direction so soon? Doesn't say much for the company's understanding of their own business!!

Get out indeed! Life is waaay to short to spend it doing something you hate!

The Vegas Flea said...

I'm with you ALL the way Linda!! I just quit my shitty "contractor" job as well. Put in my two weeks notice yesterday - wooohooo!!

Two years of enduring the most caustic work environment I could have ever imagined. Yep, fuck that, even in this economy. I'm educated, smart and funny (not as funny as Linda, of course), and I'm good at just about everything - as long as I like what I'm doing and work with decent human beings.

Life is too short!!

Gina D. said...

I've given myself six full months to get the hell out of my shitty job--I've been in it far too long as it is--and if it weren't for the health insurance (that I can't be without) I would have left a long time ago.
I've had too many people try to spin the "you're lucky you have job" pitch at me, but if they were me, working in my job--they would feel the same way. Life is too short to do something that makes you miserable just because it's "convenient" or "safe"--I think in any situation in life, if the positives don't out way the negatives it's time for a change.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Thanks, everyone!

Jazzy Cazy, you're so right about not standing for subpar happiness. As Mellodee, Vegas Flea, and Gina said, life is too short!

Taradharma, there's no such thing as perfect. Once we stop striving for it, happiness is a lot easier to achieve.

Julie, I know what you mean. :)

Debbie, I can't wait to get my hands on you--JUST ANOTHER WEEK!!!

Bar L. said...

You totally deserve to have a job you ENJOY. I'm glad you quit, maybe they will rethink your JD and allow you to travel again???

Dangerous Linda said...

I know what it's like to hate your job and I just can't do it! Not even to support a love palace like yours -- haha! In fact, that's exactly why I don't own a love palace like yours, because I wanted to make sure I NEVER felt I had to take a job I didn't want to support it. Hope you get that straightened out soon!