The Marriage Ref and why I long for TV of yesteryear

Tough crowd for Thursday night’s show. Actually, the audience was good, there was just one drunk woman in the back who I was ready to kill. Fortunately, I have some experience in dealing with the inebriated, so it wasn’t a major problem, just more of an annoyance. Last night’s audience was fabulous, though, and more than made up for it.

Anyway, when I got home Thursday night, I poured myself a glass of wine (fancy me, huh?) and while channel surfing landed on The Marriage Ref, NBC’s new show produced by Jerry Seinfeld. What a train wreck. Three celebrities provide counsel to married couples with some weird friggin’ problem presented in a video and the host, who acts as the ref, considers their input before making the call for one side or the other.

Ordinarily I’d blast right past such inanity, but I had to watch because on this night the three celebs were Larry David, Madonna, and Ricky Gervais. As you know, Larry and Ricky are my all-time favorite comedic geniuses, and Madonna… well, she’s Madonna. But what a waste of such incredible talent! Are they really deciding whether or not a woman should be allowed to keep her dead husband’s prosthetic leg (still wearing a tube sock, by the way) in the closet she now shares with a new husband?


Sure, they’re laughing, but you know they’re crying inside. Ricky even said something like it was the most bizarre hour of his life, and you know the only reason such big names would do this is because of Seinfeld.

God help us, the drek they’re serving us on network TV. Remember when shows actually had a storyline, written by professional writers? Between the reality shit and lazy crap like this, I long for the good old days.

Remember thirtysomething (1987 – 1991)? I loved that show! How freakin’ cute was Gary? Remember how sad it was when he died?

Now about Picket Fences (1992 – 1996)? Quirky as hell, but well done! And didn’t you just adore Northern Exposure (1990 – 1995)? Janine Turner was my sister Lori’s celebrity girl crush for years until she found out she’s a super-Republican. Now it’s Queen Latifah.

NYPD Blue (1993 – 2005) was groundbreaking in its early days. Remember seeing Andy Sipowicz’ ass? What a character he was. Every Tuesday Christopher and I had this goofy mother-son bonding routine.

Me: “It’s NYPD Blue night, asshole.”
Chris: “I know, douche bag.”

More recently, I loved the show Once and Again with Sela Ward, but that didn’t last long (1999 – 2002). Now the only drama that gets my attention is Rescue Me, but honestly I wouldn’t give that a second look if it didn’t star Denis “Get-out-the-whipped-cream-and-handcuffs” Leary.

How about you? Do you wonder why you’re paying an astronomical cable bill when there’s not a goddamn thing on? What shows do you miss? Is there anything worth watching?