Tuesday, June 19, 2012


A little back story for the new readers.  Both my parents had/have sisters named Joyce.  My father's sister was Beautiful Aunt Joyce, the nicest, cleanest-living person on earth who died three years ago at age 63 of breast cancer.  Like BAJ, my mother's sister Joyce is also nice as hell.  But unlike BAJ, she's also full of hell.  She's a quirky lesbian.  Last weekend my sister Lori and I took a road trip to Maine to pay her a visit.

Because we took my rental car, I'm behind the wheel this time.  Lori had to drive every mile of our two cross-country trips in 2010 because, I'm told, I'm a scary driver. 

"I never get in accidents, but I hear them happening behind me..."
Whenever Lori and I are on the road, there's no such thing as a straight line to where we're going, and this trip was no exception.  We made it pretty far, though--all the way to Portsmouth, New Hampshire, before we got off the highway to do some exploring. And by "exploring," I mean "magically happening upon a brew pub."

Lori and I are a lot alike, but when it comes to beer, we're on opposite ends of the spectrum.
Portsmouth is a very cool little city.  I bet it would be a fun destination for a girls' trip.  Brew pub, shopping...

Even a boutique named after my granddaughter!
We finally made it up to Wells, Maine.  When we first saw our Joycie, both Lori and I were like, "Holy shit, does she look like Mommy or what?"  (We still refer to our mother as "Mommy.")

Aunts are awesome because they're like mothers, but without all the years of having to listen to,"Clean your goddamn bedroom"
Joyce is a blast.  We had great fun listening to her tell the story of when she "came out" to our grandmother and how she had to convince her that she wasn't joining a cult.  Everything was cool once Granny understood there was no evil lesbian leader or secret gay handshake. 

Gerry is an ex-gym teacher, but I still love her

On Saturday morning our cousin Kelly came up from Massachusetts to join us for breakfast.

What the hell is going on with the weirdness of my face in this picture?
I swear, if I lived in Maine, I would weigh 500 pounds. 

The food in Maine is freakin' amazing!
And the service was great, too!
Amore Breakfast in Ogunquit--I highly recommend, but delicious food is everywhere!

That's not a mirage in the middle picture--there was actually a black person in Maine!  Later Saturday night, Lori and I went to a cool biker bar that Joycie turned us on to and we saw the other black person in Maine.

Funny--while we were watching the band, I got a text from someone that said, "OMG!  I just saw a black person IN VERMONT!"  What are the chances?

Oh, what fun!  After we listened to a couple of the band's sets, we went back to our hotel room and ate popcorn and drank beer in bed while watching The Sopranos in French. 

We met quite a few Canadians on our trip, and of course, every time I had to gush, "I love Canadians!" because I really do.  We met a nice couple from Quebec at breakfast Sunday morning on York Beach, and when Lori saw they each had a Kindle, Lori suggested they check out Bastard Husband: A Love Story and they bought it on the spot!  But I would still like them even if they didn't.

Sisters on the beach
On the way home we stopped in to see my friend Chief in Massachusetts.  Remember him from my book?  Chief is one of the most entertaining friends I have.  So cute--I adore him.

How about I wore the same top two days in a row?  I had something else on, but didn't like it so I was like, what the hell--no one will see me.  EXCEPT IN PICTURES THAT I POST ON MY BLOG--duh. Oh, well; it is a really cute shirt.

Today we're planning a short day trip and I still have to tell you about the day trip Mike and I took last week before he went home.  So much to tell you!  Life is good...


Julie D said...

You two are so cute when you're on the road. I wanna go with you. Can't Mommy adopt me as a sibling for you two, for at least one trip a year?

You KNOW I'd be a riot.

Debbie said...

You two need to film your road trips! Okay - first pic: is that a saber sword??? LOL!!!

Yes, Joycie looks just like your mommy!

I LOVED Maine and I would weigh 500 lbs as well. I would die from eating too many lobster rolls.

Don't you ever stay home?!


Other Mikey's Julie said...

I love your sister road trip blogs more than another, and I was LOVING this one... And then I saw your sister drinking a Coors Light? Drinking a good pale ale at a brew pub is one thing, but that is just wrong. You may not be able to bring her over to the dark side, but please don't let her dwell in the basement of pisswater. Bring her to Boise, we will have an intervention.